Posts Tagged ‘ Health ’

Three days down the rabbit hole and I am the Alice in-fucking-wonderland of prescription painkillers. Limbs stretching and contracting to unfeasible measures, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if the Vicodin reads "Eat me."
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…to Add To Your Level of Domesticity… We happily received our very first wedding gift in the mail last week. It was from our dear friends, A & B. It was an Oster Express Breadmaker. I was super excited when this was added to our registry, because just the idea of making my own...
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Just call it. – sponsor – – sponsor –
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Here in Madison, WI we are in the middle of frigidly cold winter.  The past two days were in negative tens with windchills in the negative thirties.  My nose has been stuffed for the past two weeks so I am starting to suspest that I am doing something wrong.  Would someone help me clear...
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If society were a person, say, like pop hardly-sensation Mika, it might say… “Big Girls, you are beautiful.” But this is pretty old news, gal pals. You can be as plus-sized as you choose and still love the rolly-polly skin you’re in! Ask Tyra or Harrumph. But let me be the arbiter of a truth...
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1) Prancer Cancer- a benign cluster of cells develops around my prancing muscles. After intense prance-o-therapy, I’m back on my feet telling my story to millions in television ads. 2) Toothbrush cancer- My tastebuds double as carcinogens for inanimate objects.  After three months of brushing my tongue devoutly, a malignant patch spreads over the...
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I realized today that it’s pretty funny if you replace the word fibromyalgia with procrastination. Like this bit from the Wikipedia article on fibromyalgia: Many patients experience cognitive dysfunction (known as “brain fog” or “procrasto-fog”), which may be characterized by impaired concentration, problems with short and long-term memory, short-term memory consolidation, impaired speed of...
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Dear Sportsdoc, Last weekend, Charlie Weis, head coach of the Notre Dame football team, was injured on the sideline. I witnessed the injury live on television, it looked painful. He is reported to have torn both his MCL and ACL in his left leg. As these are common injuries in sports such as football...
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you haven’t received enough tough love in a couple of days so I decided that I would post. Unfortunately, the creative juices aren’t flowing so I am unable to entertain you with my inspiring words. Instead, I was just wondering …if you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one type...
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hi, i’m a jmit. this is my new column. in case you don’t know what a jmit is, it’s a Jewish Mother In Training. You probably want to get that expression in your head if 1) you are a JMIT; 2) your girlfriend is a JMIT; 3) you like to date Jewish girls; or...
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