The $1200 dress certainly has nice style.
But, dare I say it? When compared through recession-colored glasses, the $25 dress definitely holds its ground.
When did I become a KMART pusher? Kill. Me. Now.
The self-titled debut. And just like our finest rappers, I have decided to use my first release to introduce myself. I would have written it earlier, but I’ve been all Brian Wilson kinds of obsessive about it. I’d have an idea, sit down to type, then get distracted and end up wasting the rest of the night on YouTube. I wanted to have a perfect posting career, then retire with a batting average of 1.000. I wanted to be the Ian Curtis, or Steve Nebraska, of nonpretentious. But I suppose instead I’ll take that crappy old advice that has gotten me absolutely nowhere with women: be yourself. After all, Curtis hanged himself after two perfect albums anyway, and Nebraska nearly went direct-to-video.
And debuts haven’t been my strength. My first day of substitute teaching I forgot to even write my name on the board. This is big because a substitute teacher has very few responsibilities: 1) put your name on the board; 2) attendance; 3) hand out the worksheet or push play on the VCR; and 4) shushing. Missing one of these quickly knocked me down to a 75% (a “C”, I suppose), and my substitute teaching career was barely an hour old.
Continue reading…
My sister, a nineteen-year-old fashionista just bursting with optimism, scared me stupid the other day with a hefty dose of reality that I simply must share.
She was checking her Facebook for messages and the usual status updates when she stumbled upon a girl she knew from high school. With her head shoved into the refrigerator, foraging for a midday snack, she gives me the scoop. At 19, this girl is now married, with a baby already in progress.
Sad, but decidedly not shocking. With a desensitized shrug, I listened as my sister went on with her Facebook finding. “Oh, and her profile…. Her interests, all two of her interests are drinking and being skinny.”
While I am compelled to categorize drinking as a mere activity, not necessarily an interest, or at the least, not an interest with any intrinsic value, “being skinny” simply cannot qualify as an interest, right? Right!?
(Disclaimer: I am of the plus-size persuasion and am skeptical of the skinny ‘n’ proud mentality, like it deserves some kind of honorary medal. Still, I hold no bias in this particular discussion. Hell, I wouldn’t list buffets as an interest.)
With this frightening thought in mind, this freelance writer with a fresh stock of cynicism, present to you:
MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE INTERESTS (THAT ARE LIKELY TO NEVER INCLUDE ALCOHOLISM OR ANOREXIA)
1) Reading: Feminist, psychoanalytical, indie publishing, graphic novels, zombies…I’m pretty eclectic.
2) Record Shopping: Girl garage rock and obscure compilations, specifically. i.e., Copulating Blues and Children’s Songs from Japan.
3) Thrifting: As far as I’m concerned, one can never have enough grandma sweaters.
4) Crafts: Sewing, doodling, making zines.
5) Obsessively Collecting Cute Things: Toys, stationery, lawn ornaments. Though I should mention that I have been told some of my so-called cute conquests borderline on deranged.
Epilogue…
My sister is still peering inside the refrigerator. My Dad, washing dishes nearby catches wind of our conversation. His hand still sudsy, reaches from the sink to adjust his glasses on the bridge of his nose. The water from the faucet comes to a halt, as he looks to me and says, “drinking and being skinny, huh? Probably in part, the reason she’s pregnant.”
Thanks, Dad. I’ll never wonder just where I acquired that dry wit we love so much.
Today, I was delighted to learn that three new books had arrived in the post from Amazon and I thought that, what better way to introduce myself than to introduce the books I purchased.
Of course, it seemed a slight moment of madness but here I am, writing away.
Before you decide to judge me for the books I purchased and damn me to hell for the blasphemy that it contains, let me introduce myself as a young author who is interested in language, law and philosophy. (If only I had a job that involved all three, I tell myself!)
I’ve often written posts on matters relating to philosophy and recent posts included a transcript on love and another on the emotional continuum, a term created between a friend and I.
Onto the books, I hear you cry! (I know they are more interesting than I am!)
The first book is one I have wanted for quite some time. You may know it. The Trial and Death of Socrates. I bought the Dover Thrift edition which is unabridged and contains the four dialogues.
You may think me a morbid man to read a book that is all about someone’s death but this is much more than just a book on death. It combines two different subjects; morality and existence.
It is written as though it were a script between actors and, to say the least, it is a delight to sift through some of the stylistic features of the book, although it has been modernised.
Second! This was a book that was recommended to me. I thought I’d buy it simply for its value to my extensive collection. Beyond Good and Evil: A Prelude to the Future of Philosophy.
Now there’s a title you won’t forget.
This is a famous book which has become something of a classic amongst literary circles, not only because of its philosophical value but also its linguistic value. It contains within it some of the key features of late nineteenth century writing.
The third book is one that I’m not certain about. In fact, I don’t think I even know what it is about. It’s called the Nicomachean Ethics and it was produced by a successor of Aristole.
According to Wikipedia (the source of all goodly knowledge, I’ll have you know!), this book continues lectures from Aristotle about all sorts of matters and begins with the subject of happiness.
Of course, I’m yet to even touch the books, let alone read them.
I’m afraid someone will see me reading the book and start discussing it with me, only to disappoint them by suggesting that I hadn’t, in fact, a clue what the said person was talking about.
Regardless of all that, it just goes to show what is known as literary madness. In all honesty, I don’t think I’ll ever quite know what these books are about.
It’s time again to open the site for new contributors.
as planned, nonpretentious will have open registration (a.k.a. a casting call) for the next seven (7) days.
nonpretentious would love to hear from people who:
unfortunately, due to some kinks that we’re working out, you will need a registration code to enter the site.
do not fear!
ask a contributor for the registration code or send an e-mail to editor@nonpretentious.com with your request.
all e-mails to the editor will receive a response.
* also, the dates of open registration are the 21st to the 28th of every month. (oops!)
** this post will be re-posted mid-week to make sure no one misses it.
In addition, for this March 2009 casting call, I’d like to answer a few questions that were posed to me when I first invited people to contribute to the site. (Note: if you were one of the first contributors, these answers are much more clearly articulated than they were back in July of last year!)
Why did you start the site?
I had three motivations for starting the site. The first was completely selfish – when I was in law school, I was a religious blogger. By July 2008, it had almost been two years since I stopped blogging and I missed it. I missed the writing, the community (reciprocal links, reading up on other blogs). I wanted it back.
But, I was no longer a student. I had a full-time job as a recruiter – better known by its more cannibalistic term – a headhunter. In other words, I was a grown up. And, as evident by my line of work, I liked sales and I liked money. Therefore, my goal was to bring my entrepreneurial nature to the discipline of writing. I wanted to create a business where writing was both an art and a commodity and writers – not publishers, not agents, not corporations but people who wanted to make a career out of their writing – took on the responsibilities of business decision-makers.
And, by applying the “market” to the discipline of writing, I hoped that people’s voices would be heard. Diverse voices. Voices that may be on our nightstand in ten (10) years time. And voices that may never be published by McSweeney’s or in the New Yorker no matter how many times they tried. (Fine, this may have been due to a little bit of spite on my end.)
Like any market, nonpretentious offers writers a forum, but as “market participants” the writers have to produce the results. Contributors have to pull their weight and whether they’re writing is liked, hated, admired, or revolted by readers…it has to be READ.
The site is only what the contributors make of it. The contributors – writers, photographers, developers, musicians – we are the ones who make the site what it is. If a writer is not pulling his or her weight, s/he gets booted (after a lot of coaching attempts and interventions!)
What is your goal for it personally?
What is your goal for it financially?
Is there compensation? Detail$?
While it’s not set in stone, I’m thinking of taking the total revenue that we make per week, subtracting a lump sum to recover some costs (e.g. our server & the time it takes me to do back-end stuff), and then paying people based on a pro rated word count.*
For example, let’s say we make $500 in one week. Let’s say I take out $100 for costs & labor. Let’s say stereocache writes one post that’s 400 words. tough_love writes one post that’s 250 words, one post that’s 75 words, and one post that’s 100 words. Lonnie writes two posts – one 150 words and one that is 250 words. Total words for the week = 1,225.
stereocache would earn: 400/1225 * $400 = $130.61
tough_love would earn: 425/1225 * $400 = $138.78
Lonnie would earn: 400/1225 * $400 = $130.61
Contributors would be paid as soon as nonpretentious gets paid. (i.e. I think the websites pay us once per month).
I’d keep an accounting balance – total weekly word counts, weekly word counts by contributors, and weekly revenue – on a google excel sheet (update: thinking of posting it directly to the site) that I would make available to everyone so that you can always know where you’re at, watch trends, etc.
Again, I’m open to other ideas but I think word count best balances quality and quantity. I am also considering throwing bonus points for people who reach the site via a specific url (e.g. if they “entered” nonpretentious via http://nonpretentious.com/authors/rustedjesus) – but I’m not sure exactly how that would work out. Until I think of something better, we’re going to stick with wordcount. at least this way, we have some default system of getting paid once nonpretentious makes money.
So, speaking of…
Your marketing efforts would be helpful BUT I don’t want you to think of yourselves as sleazy sellers over writers. If you’re into the marketing/advertising side of things, you can pitch in. If you’re not, remember, our business is writing – so focus on that.
What do you see the site offering that isn’t being offered right now (or at least not as well).
What is the contributor size going to be? Will we have specific sections to uphold or is it just free for all?
are you (non)pretentious? Prove yourself. This month’s REGISTRATION CODE: betterthanthou.
I was surprised and gladdened by the Washington Post’s story on the digital divide Saturday – One Step Off the Superhighway by Cecelia Kang. Whereas serious weight has been given to the Pew Study that found 2/3 of those without broadband don’t want it, few writers express an understanding that those that “don’t want it” haven’t come to understand that “The Internet is becoming as important as electricity and gas.” Whether you’re in an urban area and don’t have access due to cost or a rural area where you’re fortunate to have one provider, let along competition, broadband is becoming a necessity.
Things increasingly going online:
DMV Access & paying parking tickets
Comparative shopping
Finding a job
Job resources are first and foremost. Especially for people that have trouble affording Internet access. As cited in the story, McDonalds puts their hiring needs online. Anyone who has done job hunting or applied for entrance to an institution of higher learning in the past decade certainly knows the advantage of Internet access. But lets stick to jobs.
Lets say you want to work for the federal government. How do you learn about a vacancy (gov-speak for an opening) if you don’t have Internet access? I called the Office of Personnel Management. After finding the phone number online, I called 202.686.1800, was informed by the tele-voice to get details at USAJobs.gov. I waited for a live person and asked how to learn about vacancies by any source besides the Internet. No dice. You want to work for the government? You want to be part of the economic recovery? Get online. It’s USAJobs.gov or no government job. The private sector isn’t much forgiving. If you’re not on Monster, Symplicity, Craigslist, BradTraverse, Idealist and networking on LinkedIn, Facebook and the myriad listservs that populate the Internet Job-o-sphere, you’re dead in the road.
If you want information on unemployment – whether you’re eligible, what documents to bring in so you don’t waste your time in line, etc…you may want to check online. If you want to find an unemployment office, you can go to the phone book, look it up, go to a bus station, look at the schedule, chart your route – or you can do it all online. If you want an unemployment benefits service to assist you with the process, sign on via the Internet. Have a new claim? Fill out an online application 24/7 OR try calling an overloaded toll-free number to request a paper application (on the day of the week that corresponds to your SSN) and spend time you could be putting to better use looking for a job waiting on the phone.
Can you access all this at your local library, community center or office? Perhaps. But outages, personal schedules, lines for computers and time-limits on usage can make these options a distant second. Lets work to make sure the $7.2B the stimulus sets out to improve broadband access gets used properly.
Is the Internet a necessity yet: no. Is it more than a convenience: undoubtedly.
There are plenty of Halls of Fame around the country (not to mention around the globe), and one of the hottest topics of debate in any arena is whether or not certain groups or individuals have been denied access to a level of fame not easily granted–does Mark McGwire belong in the baseball Hall of Fame? Does transcending sport and culture alone give one the right to be enshrined? I believe, however, that there is one glaring instance of Hall of Fame snubbery, and it is in the musical arena.
Here's What the Top of My Facebook Profile Says About Me (...with notes...)
Hi, I’m RecruiterEsq and I quit my day job to form a company that is still figuring out how to articulate its vision.
If you’re OK taking career advice from someone with that disclaimer…
…that’s mostly what i’ll post about under this name.
Think of a mullet: RecruiterEsq is the business in the front.
In the spirit of UK of the Day (useless knowledge of the day)¹, we’ve created “Interactive Question” (of the day).
Contributors, post your own IQ under the IQ category (a subcategory of the features category).
Readers, post your responses if you’re bored at work, school, or play.
¹ We hope that UK of the Day will continue as soon as the school year resumes.
In John Updike’s “The Witches of Eastwick”, Joe Marino was an important character. He resurfaced in an ancillary way in Updike’s recent sequel “The Widows of Eastwick” (excellent book). Joe Marino in the books was a plumber. Once again art was ahead of life.
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