Mission 1: It’s Opposite Day Today, we’re practicing the art of ‘disqualifying’ someone. The reading is called, “The Power of No.” Some main points: In every interaction, be the person giving validation, not the one needing it. Screening Screening exercise: Imagine ideal man. List qualities like personality, looks, upbringing, values, interests, knowledge, and life...
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Posts Tagged ‘ Cut! ’
Rules of the Game (Girl Version): Day 10
[Cut!] Not Any Old Tramp Stamp…
When asked about your favorite band, you lift up the back of your shirt to reveal your huge Aerosmith tattoo? Dream On, Sucker. Cut!
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[Cut] None of Our Business
Loud talking so that everybody knows your story? Cut. This one’s usually on a train or a plane, or somewhere where you are stuck with these assholes who grab their voice like a rubber ball, and hurl it about the cabin, allowing to bounce violently off every available surface, spilling people’s drinks, hitting them...
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[Cut] Nicholas Sparks
You're about as much of an artist as a monkey that accidentally shits in the shape of a heart.
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[Cut] Facebook Plans Announcer
Updating your status because its Friday night and the gang’s coming over for canasta? Cut. I’m assuming this is done because the person in question thinks the general response to “Fifty cent Jello shot’s at O’Leary’s” is for all of her Facebook friends to nod pensively and say, out loud to no one, “My,...
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[Cut] Whistling from a truck
Oh, man. I can't wait to have sex again some day.
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[Cut] Ankle Tattoos
Going to the tattoo parlor and coming back with a butterfly on your ankle? Cut. “I’ve always wanted a tattoo,” you say. ”I think it would be so cool, like Chad Kroeger.” You know this barely counts. It’s one thing to coat your arms with snakes and demons and metaphors for band names. If...
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[Cut] Denial Smoker
Popping out for a cig for the fifth time while reassuring everyone you don’t smoke? Cut. Look, smoke if you want, no one’s going to judge you for that. Well, yeah, a lot of people actually will. But at least go through with it. Don’t tell us you’ve never paid for a pack and...
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[Cut] Cold Fluids
Pancake syrup in the refrigerator? Yeah. Cut. Its syrup! Why would want it cold? Now its thicker, slower, and harder to distribute on breakfast. It can’t go bad. Also, it’s morning–I’m lucky if I get out of the kitchen without setting my pants on fire. I don’t have time to watch as the syrup...
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[Cut] Takeout Rage
Slight issue with the delivery order, to the point where you’re quaking with tearful rage? Cut. Easy, there. I realize they forgot the hot sauce. That doesn’t require you to break the arm rest off the couch. Buy a stress ball… or a cat… but for god’s sake, leave the furniture alone. It’s just...
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