How do you blow your nose?
Here in Madison, WI we are in the middle of frigidly cold winter. The past two days were in negative tens with windchills in the negative thirties. My nose has been stuffed for the past two weeks so I am starting to suspest that I am doing something wrong. Would someone help me clear my nose.
Currently I am using what I consider the one-two punch of nose clearing. First I netty pot. Netty pot is an amazing genius contraption. In 1528 Albert Netty stole a design from Frank Gravy when he designed his amazing sinus flushing boat. His sinus flushing boat pours water into one nostril which rushes up through the sinuses and out the other nostril. This causes several booger torpedoes to launch from the nose in a rush of water. Once I do this in both nostrils my entire face is covered in tepid booger water so I need to clean up with some facial tissue. I use the special chemical weaponry tissue, puffs with vicks vapor rub, to clean off my face and blow out any remaining water/snot torpedoes. It is a disturbing morning amalgamation of snot, water and kleenex. Yet I still can’t fucken breath. Could I got some help from the readers of nonpretentious.