All Posts in 23 Reasons

Who’s there? Question #17: You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which option do you select? vs.
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Knock Knock. Question #16: You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Barcardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of...
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It’s about time. Question #15: Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it’s essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty...
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I was gone. Now I’m here. Where I’ll be next? Well, lend me your ear. Here’s a riddle, see if you can figure it out. I’ve gone many places, but nowhere I’ve been. I’ve walked to and fro, but I’ve yet to become lean. I’ve met many youths, but none know my name. I’ve...
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I’d like to get you, the reader, more involved in this. Following Harrumph’s lead, we here at nonpretentious would like you take part in this column. Tell us your answer to these existential questions taken from Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. How would you want your lover to answer? Do you find...
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My life is falling apart. Please, be my glue. Rubber cement preferably. Question #12: Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal,...
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God, I miss myself. Question #11: You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says,...
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I am deadlier than thou. And on my way to certain disaster, I’m trying to find my way to ubuntu. If you know the way feel free to take my hand. Question #10: You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special...
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I might have gone to see to a teenage romantic comedy by myself this week. But your sources haven’t been able to confirm it yet. I also need to have a conversation with myself regarding the fact that I now have 300 friends on Facebook and speak to nearly none of them. I think my life is...
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Florida is ridiculous for many reasons that I’m too depressed to get into now, perhaps later. But for now, do what ever you can to avoid this place. Please, please. I’m dying inside. Save yourselves. Question #8: You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating,...
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