One of our most creative friends, Mr. Alec Brownstein (sound alert!), has created a video for the Doritos Crash the Superbowl Contest (sound alert!).
If Alec wins, he receives $5 million.
So, nonpretentious readers – assuming that Alec makes it to the finalist rounds (which he will!) – make sure you get your vote on starting January 5th, 2010 and maybe, *just maybe*, Alec will send us some free Doritos.
Like many of you, I went through one of those phases when I swore off TV. For me, it happened in college and it sounded something like this, “Damn the fascist cable companies! Damn the advertisers! Damn consumerism! Let’s read Adbusters or Utne!”
Now, I’m that I’m older and wiser, I can admit that I like television. It’s relaxing and entertaining, even sometimes necessary. (Put down your Foucault Readers and analyze that!).
True, I may be speaking as an addict. (See: Andy Warhol shirt pictured to right.) But, at least, I’m an addict who can associate Target with frugalistas, Diet Coke with simplicity, and Macs with people not as memorable as John Hodgman. 
This fall season I felt like I needed to hire a professional organizer to help me keep track of all of my “stories.” Since I can’t afford a professional organizer, I decided to take one for the team and organize it for all of us. I’ve included a calendar of what I’m watching this fall – until the shows suck – but I’d love to hear if I’ve forgotten anything and/or there’s must-see TV that I’m missing.
Some notes:
In our world, only two types of people exist:
1) Those who take the “Which Freaks & Geeks Character Are You?” quiz and pray for Bill Haverchuck; and
2) Those who have no idea who Bill Haverchuck is.
Needless to say, we prefer to hang out with the first type. We also suggest a change of weekend plans for anyone who falls into the second.
Which is to say, we almost peed in our pants when Martin Starr agreed to make a mix tape for us. (We definitely did a victory dance or two.)
You see, Bill Haverchuck may have sparked our initial respect for Martin but we’re also fans of Adventureland (available on iTunes as of yesterday! Awesome soundtrack as well!), Knocked Up, and Party Down. It’s almost like the weirder his characters get, the deeper our admiration grows.
In fact, we’re not sure any other actor could pull off some of the scenes from Party Down and still garner our empathy. (Insert: Any scene from “Sin Say Shun Awards After Party.”)
He even manages to make us believe that pipe-smoking, Russian literature majors can be nonpretentious.
Right. So, once Martin agreed to make a mix tape for us, we promised ourselves that we’d refrain from sounding like brown-nosers or stalkers in his introduction. Obviously, we failed. Horribly.
On behalf of nonpretentious, we’ll simply point out that it’s not our fault that we respect him as an artist. Whether his talent comes from nature, nurture, or something else entirely, Martin Starr knows how to entertain. When we see his name on a project, we’re pretty certain it will be worth our while. We eagerly await all of his future endeavors, including his writing debut and his art exhibit at the Met. (Hear that, Directors? Hear that, Distributors of American Storage? Hear that, Curators of the Met?) (Also, no spoilers for Good Dick, it’s at the top of our Netflix queue.)
We know Martin had a full schedule this summer. (What? Haven’t you heard of a telescope?) We’re grateful that he took the time to compile this playlist for us. We’re even more grateful that his playlist didn’t make us lose all respect for him.
And now a word from the maker of this mixtape:
Continue reading…
Most people who know me think that I “watch TV that lowers [my] IQ.” (Yes, that was a quotation.) While this statement is both upsetting and insulting, I would have to agree.
Each night, after a long day of work (read: unpaid internship) and a strenuous work out at the local gym, I shower, eat dinner, and curl up on the couch. I click on the TV and scroll through the channels, hoping that I’ll find a program that will keep me occupied until bed time – CSI (nah, too much thinking), Top Chef Masters (no, that will make me hungry), Intervention (I’m not in the mood to cry), Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (ahhh, perfect). I begin to watch.
“On this episode of Tori and Dean, Tori, a new mother of two – Liam and Stella – throws a huge 1st birthday party for her daughter Stella….”
While I can’t wait to see the drama that unfolds, my mother and sister who sit with me on the couch roll their eyes and stick their noses up in the air in a I’m-so-much-more-mature-than-you-I-only-watch-the-news-and-programs-that-make-you-think kind of way. I disregard their reactions and continue to watch Tori plan the party. She’s really good at party planning – something you know, if you’re someone like me.
It takes about 7 minutes before my mother asks, “who is that?” which means she’s been watching. I answer the question, smirk to myself, and continue to watch this episode and another. (You know the one when Dean comes home with a brand-new tattoo before the Guncles – gay uncles – get married. How cute?!)
Then, about 30 minutes into the second episode, I look up and see my sister: eyes glued to the television. I mean, seriously, how can she resist Tori’s adorable personality?
It took me almost 15 hours of sleeping/dreaming/thinking to realize that mom and sister owed me a huge apology. They yucked my yum (I was a camp counselor for three summers), and THEN they couldn’t keep their eyes off of Tori and Dean. It’s people like them who make the Nielsen ratings inaccurate….
Anyway, my point is this: don’t yuck other people’s yums. You never know if you’re going to love a show that just might lower your IQ. You never know if the yum you just yucked is going to become your new yum. And, may I add, be [non]pretentious when evaluating other’s viewing habits.
So, don’t be shy – list your guilty pleasure viewing programs. I’ll start. Don’t be embarrassed!
1) Real World
2) Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood
4) NYC Prep
5) Real Housewives (OC, NYC, and NJ)
6) Gossip Girl
Last week, two big events happened in the life of one of our favorite tweeple, Michael Ian Black.
First, The State – MTV’s sketch comedy show – debuted on DVD.
In case you don’t remember The State (too young?), here is some reminding:
Second, “Michael and Michael Have Issues” debuted on Comedy Central.
| Michael & Michael Have Issues | Premieres Wed, July 15, 10:30pm / 9:30c | |||
| Greg the Intern | ||||
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Without Stella’s third wheel, David Wain, it seems that Michael Showalter is Michael Ian Black’s new favorite target.
Oh, do you not know who/what Stella is? No worries, Season 1 is available on DVD.
For those of you who think DVDs are remnants of the Stone Age, well, Hulu has all the episodes available to view, including the Pilot which we embedded below.
Hardcore, are we?
If that’s still not enough Michael Ian Black for you, you can always add Wet Hot American Summer to your Amazon wishlist or to your Netflix queue.
Or, sign up to have Amazon notify you when Ed comes out on DVD.
And, seriously, if that still doesn’t satiate your need for the MIB, you may want to see a doctor. You may have a problem.
Things I expect to see in this season:
Get Mad Men Season 2 DVD on Amazon or download episodes from iTunes.
While season 1 was slow on the uptake, it was well worth it in the long run. So, if you haven’t watched it yet, do it now! (Amazon, iTunes, or Netflix.)
For those who have been fans since it aired, well, you have to wait one more month. Season 3 airs on August 16th.
(Yes, those are all affiliate links. Read. Like. Support. Sincerely, the writers at nonpretentious.)
Every young girl remembers their first love. For me, his name was Dan and we met in the preschool playground. It was true love – he shared his chicken fingers with me at lunch and always requested to sleep next to me during nap time. It seemed like I had found the man of my dreams. Then, reality hit: First grade. I was going to one elementary school and he was going to another, and we knew that although our love was strong enough to survive the long distance, we needed to branch out and meet new people. It was a hard decision to make, but Dan and I were just looking out for each other’s best interests.
After Dan and I separated, I never thought I could love again. But one day….”Boy Meets World” became a part of my after school routine. Every day after school, I would come home, eat a pickle, and sit in front of the TV and watch two episodes of “Boy Meets World.” While most of you probably watched “Boy Meets World” because of the intense romance between Corey and Topanga, I was focused on something, er, someone, else…..someone that made my heart yearn the same way it used to yearn for Dan: Shawn Rogers. Now, I know Shawn doesn’t have the best reputation – he’s a ladies man who has that bad boy thing going for him – but he took my television boyfriend virginity, and for that reason, he will forever have a place in my heart.
Now, I know some of you are like “TV boyfriend? What is that?” You might be thinking – “tough love is such a fool for loving these boys.” But let me tell you, I’m not alone – each woman (and man, TV girlfriends exist too!) has a TV boyfriend, whether they only watch Jeopardy! (Alex Trebek is shmokin), or if they have a variety of shows they are addicted to. Either way, TV boyfriends/girlfriends are serious. Think about it – our entire lives we are taught “chicks over dicks,” “bros before hos” – so, when we are faced with a tough decision (boyfriend/girlfriend or friends), we choose the latter because that’s what the right decision is. But shouldn’t that rule come into play with TV boyfriends/girlfriends? I mean, think about it, how many times have you “not felt like going out” because you just wanted to stay home and finish the third disc of “insert favorite show with hot tv boyfriend/girlfriend?” Wouldn’t THAT be violating the rules? I think so!
And so, readers of nonpretentious, I wonder – who are your television boyfriends? Who would persuade you to ditch your friends just to watch 17 more episodes of the shoe he stars in? Need inspiration? Read on for my list!
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Continue reading…
There you are, sitting on the couch, wrapped up comfortably in your snuggie, snacking on some delicious deviled ham thanks to your countertop magician when nature calls.
So you hop on your rascal scooter and make your way to the bathroom. I guess that meal of diced, chopped, and minced nuts just went right through you.
As you sit down to take care of business, you ponder the history of toilet paper. Has this stuff really been around for that long? Did it really have splinters in it at one point!? The sorry state of toilet paper innovation has made you angry enough to violently confront a hooker.
Sure, we have the bidet. But let’s be honest with ourselves, an anus-cleaning plumbing fixture just seems unnatural. The world has been crying out for a new generation of toilet paper tech, and finally someone has stepped up to the plate. The Comfort Wipe has arrived. Has is really taken almost 130 years for this breakthrough?
As you wipe with the wonder stick, you can’t help but realize that in the end, you’re not really innovating anything. You’re just putting toilet paper on a stick. Maybe it’s time to move beyond paper. As Rabelais once remarked, “He who uses paper on his filthy bum, will always find his ballocks lined with scum“.
In case you boycott Jimmy Fallon (on principle), were already in asleep (#eastcoast), or don’t watch television (again, on principle), this clip will fill you in on what your colleagues (ages 14-40) are talking about at the water cooler (twitter): Zack Morris (and his cell phone) on Jimmy Fallon!
Remember, http://nonpretentious.com would love to hear from people who:
* write like Murakami,
* fight like Jack Bauer,
* kill crossword puzzles like Jon Stewart,
* mix optimism with cynicism,
* wish life’s soundtrack was composed by Jon Brion, or
* memorized the Saved by the Bell theme song.
…and nerdy, awkward people stay nerdy and awkward…
(in case you don’t recognize “Twitchy”…here’s his IMDB bio.)
ps. he should’ve kept the last name Boring.
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