Earlier this year, we published our intention to open registration around the 21st of each month in order to seek new talent to contribute to nonpretentious.
What happened, however, is that people would register for the site but then never publish anything. At least, that’s what happened in January, February, and March.
Don’t get me wrong. We can understand writer’s block. We can understand busy schedules. We can even understand voyeurism. Most of all, we can understand the natural tendency for people to think in WIIFM terms when it comes to managing their time and sharing their talents.
But there’s only so much feeling-like-a-douche a nonpretentious website can take. There’s only so many times we can welcome talented contributors with open arms and standing ovations, only to be met with silence.
(Actually, scratch that. We didn’t even know if the new contributors would be talented. We didn’t judge their writing. Seriously, how stupid could we be if we wanted to be taken seriously?)
Therefore, around the beginning of April, we decided to try something else. Mix it up a little. Do that whole A/B comparison thing.
Although many of us are contrarians by nature, we decided to give regular, inside-the-box thinking a chance. I mean, if everyone else is doing it, we may as well try. So, we went to this website where you can post to find the things you are seeking – talented writers, the cute girl on the subway, a job, an apartment, take your pick. We posted our gig at nonpretentious, clicked off our computer, and waited.
– read. like. support. –
– read. like. support. –
(We put an ad in there to represent our wait.)
Who first said, “when in need of talent, do as others in need of talent do?” Was that common knowledge? I’m almost positive it is common knowledge who claims good things come to those who wait. Point is: common knowledge may actually have something going for it.
Less than 24-hours after our post, we received some wonderful inquiries from writers who want to write, contributors who want to contribute! What a miracle!
Not wanting to get hoodwinked again, we picked our favorites, made them endure hours of interviews, and long, arduous training.
To test their writing skills, we grilled them on the order of a QWERTY keyboard.
To test their stamina, they had to swim across leech infested waters.
To test their wit, we picked them up in a stolen taxi – properly adorned with flashing strobe lights – and made them guess what show inspired us.
Needless to say, a few passed with flying colors. And, to those few – true heroes, in our eyes – we gave our password.
So, for now, we’re going to pause the open registration. We’ll still have a casting call but to make sure we’re all not wasting time, for now, we’re going to require the whole let’s-hear-from-you-see-your-writing-find-out-if-you-are-serious-etc.
We’ll even let you ask us about our most embarrassing moments. Heck, we’ll even play two truths and a lie or never have I ever, if your writing tickles our fancy. This way, you get to know us. We get to know you.
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