hi, i’m a jmit. this is my new column. in case you don’t know what a jmit is, it’s a Jewish Mother In Training. You probably want to get that expression in your head if 1) you are a JMIT; 2) your girlfriend is a JMIT; 3) you like to date Jewish girls; or...
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Jewish Mother-in-Training: Tip – Tissues
how to kiss.
if… you were a (sexually) experienced 13-year-old giving your inexperienced 13-year-old friend tips on how to kiss his/her first boy/girl, what would you say?
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Evolution, Shmevolution.
With a single swift kick to God’s nuts, Florida just starting requiring teachers to lie (see this). Yes, our Lord Jesus Christ is sprawled on the floor groaning tonight as Florida has enacted a policy requiring teachers to teach evolution (hereinafter “big fucking lie”) to our children. I’ve had enough. I’m moving my family...
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Sic on Me
By the way, yes, I am aware that I’m not supposed to put quotation marks around text that has been offset with smaller margins. I know this, but I choose to take risks and disregard the rules. I am a risktaker. I’m also aware that you might argue that risktaker is actually two words....
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Today’s Good News: Planet Swallowing Black Holes …
This from Gail Collins‘ latest Op-Ed in The New York Times: “The vast majority of the scientific community believes that the Large Hadron will not lead to the destruction of all life as we know it. Or at least as Greg Landsberg, a physicist from Brown University, was quoted as saying, the chances are...
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Khaled: I wanna have his baby.
At the risk of overkill with Khaled … But just listen once! Once! You’ll never stop. I present Didi. I almost posted this clip. I can’t keep it together if I watch it, so you go ahead. And if you needed any more proof that he may be God, check out this. So, I...
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pet peeve.
has anyone figured out why you cannot repeat the farting noise your shoe makes when you are trying to prove that you did not fart. anyone?
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Khaled: All Hail the King of Algerian Raï
Khaled is truly “the King of Algerian Raï.” But why hadn’t anyone told me about him before the other day. I feel hurt about this. All those concerts for all of these years, and now Khaled is like 50 and I haven’t met him or anything. Better now then never, I guess.
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I’m So Bored with the (cars built in the) USA
I write today in a mood of victory as I have just won an important victory over my arch nemesis, a 2001 Ford Focus ZX3. We’ve been fighting for a few years, and while I am confident of ultimate victory I can’t help but wonder: “at what cost?” It wasn’t always like this. We...
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How to Earn Tough_Love’s Love
a little birdie once told me that my introduction wasn’t long enough. here is a list of 15 things you must know about me in order for me to (tough) love you.
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