What follows is an account of my 8-day spring break vacation, spent at the ski resort Whistler/Blackcomb in British Columbia, Canada. It’s just me and my parents. I am 30 years old. Single. Depressed. God rapes us in mysterious ways. For those of you who may know me and my parents, I must say,...
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All Posts by Kiren Valjee
On Spring Break in Whistler at the age of 30 with my Parents, or, What is Happening to Me? – Day 2
On Spring Break in Whistler at the age of 30 with my Parents, or, What is Happening to Me? – Day 1
At dinner I look through the window beside me and notice the women in the hotel room across the way are standing around in their underwear trying to figure out what to wear. From a distance they seem attractive. I try to will them to remove their underwear or to look at me and...
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[Cut] Eat Something!
Order a salad on the first date? Cut! I like food. You should, too. It tastes good and provides all the nutrients you need to maintain a healthy body weight. Sarah Jessica Parker is NOT a healthy body weight.
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Anton’s Pizza
Just call it. – sponsor – – sponsor –
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And so it begins…
This post was originally going to be titled, “Let it begin…” Something with a little more optimism, some hope, some glee. But all of those happy people feelings were dashed last night at 8:45pm. At exactly 8:45pm last night, a large part of the student population at the large southern state school I attend...
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Recommendation: Dial-A-Stranger
Hello. Nobody seems to be around except tough_love. Well, I’ve decided to rejoin society by trying to get famous. I won’t tell you where I’ve been, because you’ve never been and you just wouldn’t understand. Dial-A-Stranger is a podcast/site run by Mercedes and Zachary. Every week they tape and broadcast phone calls to strangers....
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Can I Get A Witness
We, as Americans, have not been witness to many joyous occasions in the last ten years. It’s been a decade racked with tragedy, scandal, depressions, and disasters. I can say that even in my own entire lifetime (a mere, but sometimes long, 29 years) my national and international memory is not exactly something to...
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What Not To Do During Your Election Day Rally
1. Do not invite Joe Lieberman to stand behind you. No one likes him, Democrats or Republicans. 2. Tell your wife to make sure she doesn’t continuously lick her teeth. Her lips aren’t thick enough to accidentally transfer the ominous red lipstick to her teeth. 3. Do not pause during cheers and applause to...
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Cover v. Original Verdict: Lost in the Supermarket
Our readers have overwhelmingly voted for the Clash (3-1). I knew this would happen. In fact, it’s the whole reason I proposed this song. I’m subversive like that. Here’s the deal. The Clash are good. Damn good. I mean phenomenally good. “Lost in the Supermarket” is one of my favorite songs. But what I’m...
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Cover v. Original: Lost in the Supermarket
Cover: Afghan Whigs Original: The Clash VOTE! – Cover v. Original works like this: A contributor presents covers and originals in a post. Readers debate over which is better in the comments. Final verdict is given about one week later.
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