Rules of the Game (Girl Version): Day 7
Mission 1: Learn to Open
For those of you who know me, you know why I need to take these paragraphs to heart:
Never being by asking a question that requires a yes or no response. If you say, “Can I ask you a quick question?” the group can always answer, “No.” Then you’re stuck. ¶ Instead, begin with a statement, such as an observation, “You guys look like experts,” or request for assistance: “Help me settle a quick debate” or “Let me get your take on this.” Then pause briefly to make sure you have everyone’s attention, and continue. ¶ … Don’t begin the opener by saying “I’m sorry,” “Excuse me,” or “Pardon me, but.” Sure, your family raised you to be polite, but starting a conversation this way makes you sound insecure at best and like a panhandler at worst.
Mission 2: Prepare Your Opener
“The simplest way to generate an opener is to think about anything you’re curious about, want to learn, or are confused about. Choose a topic that is likely to capture the interest of most people.”
Recently, there has been that big debate over the double space or single space after a period. I think that may make a good opener because I’ll be able to tell if the dude is a grammar nerd or a design nerd.
Approach #1: Hey, when you’re typing, one or two spaces after a period?
Another debate that I’ve had recently – do you think most people learned about Huguenots in school? I never did but recently I’ve heard the word 3 or 4 times. My friend told me that I’m probably one of the few people who had no idea what it was. (Hey, I only recently started watching The Tudors, season 1. Give me a break!) I’d make that one of my approaches but that may be a little too nerdy, even for me. Thoughts?
Approach #2: Hey, what’s your favorite iPhone app? (For someone with an iPhone)
Variation: Hey, I see you’re using an Android. Why did you buy that over an iPhone?
Variation: Hey, do you want to FaceTime with me?
(Wait, that last variation may be too creepy….)
Approach #3: Hey, I need some new podcast recommendations. Do you listen to any cool podcasts?
I don’t know if that’s debate worthy but it is a question that I threw out to my friends on Twitter and Facebook. I got some good recommendations so may as well ask for some more.
Do any of you have a good opening line that you use at a bar? Tell me!
Mission 3: Test Your Opener
I was supposed to approach 3 men and use one of the openers that I made up or one that I read about in the day’s briefing. As I’m writing this at 9:15 pm, unshowered, and waiting for a ride home, I doubt I’ll be able to try out my openers tonight. I guess that means more homework for tomorrow.
Mission 4: Evaluate Your Approaches
As soon as I do Day 7′s Mission 3, I can do Day 7′s Mission 4 which includes evaluating the approaches and writing down reasons why the approach failed or succeeded. I’m not allowed to blame other people for why the mistake failed. I can’t write, “He was a douche!” I have to find something that I did wrong and think of a way that I can do it better. …I like blaming people for my mistakes. This doesn’t seem too fair.
Damn, picking up dudes is harder work than you think!
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Yes, avoid the second variation of approach number #2.
A pick up line I use all the time that works fairly well to at least start a convo is simply walking up to someone and saying, “Hi, my name is Kiren.” Wait for them to respond with their name or not. then say, “What do you do in town?” Most times it rolls pretty well from there. Whether I get a phone number is a different story, but I usually get a conversation.