Rules of the Game (Girl Version): Day 7
For those of you who know me, you know why I need to take these paragraphs to heart:
Never being by asking a question that requires a yes or no response. If you say, “Can I ask you a quick question?” the group can always answer, “No.” Then you’re stuck. ¶ Instead, begin with a statement, such as an observation, “You guys look like experts,” or request for assistance: “Help me settle a quick debate” or “Let me get your take on this.” Then pause briefly to make sure you have everyone’s attention, and continue. ¶ … Don’t begin the opener by saying “I’m sorry,” “Excuse me,” or “Pardon me, but.” Sure, your family raised you to be polite, but starting a conversation this way makes you sound insecure at best and like a panhandler at worst.
Mission 2: Prepare Your Opener
“The simplest way to generate an opener is to think about anything you’re curious about, want to learn, or are confused about. Choose a topic that is likely to capture the interest of most people.”
Recently, there has been that big debate over the double space or single space after a period. I think that may make a good opener because I’ll be able to tell if the dude is a grammar nerd or a design nerd.
Approach #1: Hey, when you’re typing, one or two spaces after a period?
Another debate that I’ve had recently – do you think most people learned about Huguenots in school? I never did but recently I’ve heard the word 3 or 4 times. My friend told me that I’m probably one of the few people who had no idea what it was. (Hey, I only recently started watching The Tudors, season 1. Give me a break!) I’d make that one of my approaches but that may be a little too nerdy, even for me. Thoughts?
Approach #2: Hey, what’s your favorite iPhone app? (For someone with an iPhone)
Variation: Hey, I see you’re using an Android. Why did you buy that over an iPhone?
Variation: Hey, do you want to FaceTime with me?
(Wait, that last variation may be too creepy….)
Approach #3: Hey, I need some new podcast recommendations. Do you listen to any cool podcasts?
I don’t know if that’s debate worthy but it is a question that I threw out to my friends on Twitter and Facebook. I got some good recommendations so may as well ask for some more.
Do any of you have a good opening line that you use at a bar? Tell me!
Mission 3: Test Your Opener
I was supposed to approach 3 men and use one of the openers that I made up or one that I read about in the day’s briefing. As I’m writing this at 9:15 pm, unshowered, and waiting for a ride home, I doubt I’ll be able to try out my openers tonight. I guess that means more homework for tomorrow.
Mission 4: Evaluate Your Approaches
As soon as I do Day 7′s Mission 3, I can do Day 7′s Mission 4 which includes evaluating the approaches and writing down reasons why the approach failed or succeeded. I’m not allowed to blame other people for why the mistake failed. I can’t write, “He was a douche!” I have to find something that I did wrong and think of a way that I can do it better. …I like blaming people for my mistakes. This doesn’t seem too fair.
Damn, picking up dudes is harder work than you think!