The Mustache Diaries: Day 3
Perhaps the most annoying thing about growing this mustache so far is shaving everyday. I simply have to shave everyday, especially this first week, in order to really see any progress. It is a chore! Just plain exhausting. I have to lather up, scrape my face off and rinse and apply an after shave balm for sensitive skin, because I have sensitive skin. It’s especially sensitive to race-based insults. Ha! Get it?
Before this fall, I hadn’t shaved properly in probably about 5 years. Then I met a girl and shaved for her. Then she stopped talking to me. So now I’m growing a mustache. Makes sense right? No, of course not. It’s stupid to start shaving just because you like a girl. A woman I should say. I keep forgetting I’m 30 years old.
A few months ago, when I decided to shave for this girl, I called my brother to find out what kind of razor I should buy. I hadn’t bought a razor since 1998 approximately, when the Gillette Sensor Excel came out. Cutting edge in razor technology then. Two blades! I stood in the shaving section of the drug store and stared at all the choices. So many choices. All of them scary looking. Three blades, four blades, FIVE blades. Gel strips, rubber strips, sporty grips and sportier colors. I was afraid. My brother didn’t answer so I upgraded to three blades. I didn’t want to move too fast and go straight for the five blades. I might hurt myself.
Now that I shave everyday, three blades doesn’t seem to cut it. Time to go for it. This is what they a mid-life crisis, right? Stupid.
Kiren, a.k.a. Mr. Killstache
You can donate to Kiren’s mustache and help cure kids with cancer by going to Mustaches vs. Cancer and searching for Mr. Killstache. It’s a scientific fact that Kiren’s mustache grows better with multiple and frequent donations.