The Divine Snooki

September 14, 2010

People have called her a troll.  They’ve compared her physique to that of a bowling ball.  Me?  I think she’s kind of pretty, in a flabbergasting, getting arrested for being annoying, slipper-posing-as-sneaker kind of way.

I’m referring to Snooki, of course, the hands down star of MTV’s Jersey Shore, which I may have mentioned once or twice. And like the poorly disguised house footwear she’s so fond of, it’s hard to tell whether Snooki is aware of her impracticality, her senselessness, or if she’s earnestly just that goofy, or some combination of all of the above.

In order to make some sort of sense of the sleeper hold characters like Snooki have on me, I start to wonder whether they are marketing, self-branding geniuses first, or if, like many serendipitous and wonderful commodities, they started as genuine articles whose marketability was then revealed to them.

Either way I’m getting manipulated, and probably encouraging braingrene (like gangrene… you get it), so I like to have faith in my little orange one and believe that she just does what she does and happens to think she’s doing just fine as a famous person, even believes that she deserves to be one (and why shouldn’t she?).

I choose to believe that old Snickers would be cavorting in much the same way she is now had Jersey Shore ever been conceived, she’d just be doing so on a lower budget.  I mean, all she does is “listen to house music” and use Facebook and Twitter (essentially ways to make anyone feel famous, if fleetingly).  I’d say she’s a pretty good representation of the culture from which she comes.

Her whole being just screams, “Waaah! Whatever! I do me! I get it in!”  And while I realize I’m speaking about someone who squeezes and pokes and dyes and pushes her physical appearance to the edge of orange and back again, I stand by my impression that Snooki rolls with the fist pumps and does her own damn thing, no matter if the cameras are on or not. She’s not one for stunts, my Snooki, and there are plenty of examples of people who are (including the gorilla she’s dating, but I choose to believe she had nothing to do with that).

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