Apple, Fruit of All Knowledge, or Er, Love?

May 21, 2010

Just as Adam and Eve tasted the sweet nectar of a crisp apple and so began various dances with the devil, a modern day version of sorts will rain down upon the free, socially-conscious, iPhone toting and courting world come June, 2010.

And this genesis (drum solo, please) will attract those looking to get a bit biblical by taking b(y)tes and touches of the “proverbial apple” daily–all while praying to some “higher power not quite defined” that she will be forced–monthly, albeit–to make use of modern man’s greatest invention: the iPad.

Cupidtino is the latest in the online dating craze; but Apple lovers need only apply. PC users, no glimpses for you through the windows of this matchmaking site.

Here’s the breakdown: Cupidtino–a combination of “Cupid” (aw, for love) and “Cupertino” (the California city which saw the birth of Apple)–will offer members a chance to hook up for love with Mac adoring fan girls and boys. Allow me to expound by quoting, forthwith, from their website:

“Diehard Mac & Apple fans often have a lot in common – personalities, creative professions, a similar sense of style and aesthetics, taste, and of course a love for technology. We believe these are enough reasons for two people to meet and fall in love…”

Bullshit. Cried loud and proud. And here’s why:

Owning a Mac does not make you creative, it makes you feel creative. There’s a difference.


I know 12.3 people who own Macs and iPhones who haven’t been creative in 4.6 years because the oh so important job downtown takes too much personal time.

But wasn’t it Sigmund Freud who once said true creativity is born out of lust for fame? Maybe he was onto something there…and “undefined higher power” willing, that Macbook will help you get there. Be a Pro, c’mon.

Seriously, though. Can a certain, undying love for one particular company’s mass-marketed products really make for explosive sparks?

Think of it this way. You adore the Mountain Spring Scent of Tide Laundry Detergent. It makes you feel fresh and clean. A freshly laundered tshirt thrown about your back rejuvenates the senses and breathes new life into your day. You spy a girl on the train. She smells similarly fresh and rejuvenated. You meet. Talk. Take long walks on the beach and talk detergent. You fall in love. One day, you bring her home to meet the parents.

“Mom, Dad…this is Olive. She uses Tide Mountain Spring .”

Join Cupidtino and you are absolutely guaranteed a chance to meet a mate with the following ‘specs’ : fixed gear messenger sack complete with 7,000 pockets for various tech gadgets and corresponding cords, refreshing coffee or Odwalla Super Food drink costing approximately $4.49, striped cardi, 1 moleskin, a copy of Dave Eggers’ Zeitoun, and a 15-inch Macbook Pro tucked neatly in a steel gray InCase sleeve.

Satyricom® brand Deconstruction PaperI’ve spent many a day thinking long and hard about what my profile might look like. And while I haven’t solidified any concrete plans for making myself appear unique (though I will definitely include under my interests: construction paper deconstruction), I definitely hope to find a budding urban landscape photographer (“I like the way abandoned warehouses and the grime of the city look so…used, you know?”) who currently works in some kind of design-related field which uses the math and computers to create “structure” in a freely creative environment.

And I know the chances are 1 out of 2 that I find what I’m looking for at Cupidtino. It’s bound to ‘app-en. Take a bite out of that, Those odds look juicy, no?

Case in point: visit the “About” section of their recently launched website and learn the masterminds behind Cupidtino are 3 geeks in development and design who live in San Fran and own every Apple gadget. You’ll be pleasantly entertained to the tune that made Yael Naim a household name of Apple marketing–the fitting “New Soul,” not only as an homage to Apple product marketing, but the “this is a happy end, come give me your hand…” warm fuzzies you want from a potential dating site.

There’s the rub. It’s called: Marketing Gold. Golf claps, Cupidtino, you’ve definitely learned a thing or two from your beloved Apple. Geeks.

So, if you’re looking for the best first date of your life, join Cupidtino and prepare to have your mind blown and the fire lit aflame over a discussion of Apple, fruit of all knowledge.

If it was good enough for Eve, well…

File Under: It’s iLife. And I’m just livin’ it.

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2 Responses to “ Apple, Fruit of All Knowledge, or Er, Love? ”

  1. Kiren on May 21, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    I’m your timbuk2 messenger bag toting iphone calling macbook pro typing urban landscape photographer. Call me. Just kidding. Kind of.

  2. Ways To Earn on July 11, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Amazing blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any suggestions? Thank you!

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