3 Niches Not Yet Tapped in Online Dating

March 15, 2010

By revisingproust

I started thinking about niche dating sites a few years back when I wrote a story about J4J4J4J.com, a dating site exclusively for Jews for Jesus. As I sit, tapping my fingers, waiting for someone to launch that goldmine (and, yes, J4J4J4J.com will be a goldmine), I decided to brainstorm about other potential niche dating sites.¹

Here are three niche dating sites that (surprisingly!) have not yet launched:

1. PhishKiss2LoveChild.com: This site is perfect for anyone who didn’t meet the love of their dreams while tripping out on mushrooms in the parking lot of a jam band show. Site is ad supported by unemployed musicians teaching hacky sack moves and the art of drum circling. To help you find your patchouli-smelling soul mate, the site recommends answering a few questions about yourself. Examples include: how many times per week do you shower; rank The Grateful Dead, Dave Matthews Band, The String Cheese Incident, Medeski Martin & Wood, and moe. based on their talents; and, Y/N section about whether you’re down with cigarettes, marijuana, mushrooms, hippie flipping, candy flipping, or other. Successful couples send in videos that usually include footage of hippie dancing at the wedding party or toddlers with baby dreadlocks.

2. UltimateUnion.com: This dating site may be for trade union workers but it’s anything but blue collar. It’s the elite place to mingle with other teamsters or AFL-CIO members, who also seek to form the ultimate union with their one true love. These singles know the joys of joining together to optimize life and its benefits. Like many other dating sites, UltimateUnion.com helps people find their one and only by asking questions that aim to reveal a member’s political, emotional, and romantic desires. For example, the site asks, “If you and your partner have an argument, how does this affect what goes on in the bedroom: a) When it comes to sex, I’m on strike but s/he can sleep next to me; b) there’s a lockout and s/he’s sleeping on the couch; or, c) we never let our arguments affect our love life – that’s how the man holds us down!” The site also advises that “[p]rior to any long-term commitment, it is in the best interests of both parties to sit down and draft a collective bargaining agreement. What if one night she wants to watch American Idol while he wants to watch a hockey game? In addition, it is helpful to appoint a neutral arbitrator in case any marital tussle cannot be resolved based on the terms previously negotiated.” Couples who met on the site usually send in pictures along with glowing testimonials. They look truly happy in their Dickies or holding hands in the picket line. (Note: The creators of this site are also looking to launch Laidoff-N-Looking.biz. The tagline is “Everyone needs a little love, in this economy!”)

3. Wherewolvesmeet.com: Usually, it’s the vamps that are getting all the hype. Thankfully, Team Jacob stepped in and brought attention to another type of supernatural entity. Nevertheless, in terms of online dating, werewolves are still the underdog. Vamps and goths have numerous choices when finding lovers online: LoveBitten.net (though the server is no longer responding), Vampire Rave, GothicMatch, GothScene, GothPassions …. Two years ago, three werewolves met in a vamp chat room and started talking about their distress. That’s how http://wherewolvesmeet.com got started. Needless to say, wherewolvesmeet accepts real werewolves, people with extremely hairy faces and bodies, shapeshifters, and people who would like to become a werewolf and/or pretend to be a werewolf in order to pick up members of the opposite sex. Successful couples try to send in testimonials – pics or videos – but usually they’re too mauled, bitten, or shredded to actually post.

¹ I will also add that two other niche dating sites that came to mind are already live. Letslive.com was supposed to be a dating site for widows and widowers and geeky&freaky.org was supposed to be for open source lovers (pun intended) but there’s already Widows or widowers and Geek2Geek.

–

* Thr33s is a column created by slackers inspired by 5ives. Feel free to post your thr33s.