Dear Graduate Student: An Exchange

November 12, 2009
By

Dear Graduate Student,

If you haven’t realized by now, you are not welcome in the student gym, the undergraduate libraries, or anywhere else on campus that I could possibly run into you.
stairmaster
When I go to the gym, the last person I want to see climbing the Stairmaster next to me is you. In fact, when I leave your class, I don’t want to see you until our next class together.

You should probably know (and spread the word to your other grad student friends, will you?) that hanging out at undergraduate spots is not okay. We don’t want you there.

Go home, write your thesis, and leave the undergrads alone (this means, don’t wave to me when we are passing each other on the street. I don’t want people to think I’m friends with a greying, sweater-wearing, messenger-bag-carrying, thesis-writing loser). I have a life.

Thanks,

Undergrad

P.S. Will you write my letter of recommendation for grad school?

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2 Responses to “ Dear Graduate Student: An Exchange ”

  1. Bigshotprof on November 12, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Dear Undergraduate. So sorry to hear that I am not wanted in your circles, because nothing brightens my day like catching up on the latest episode of Tool Academy and jotting down new beer pong strategies. But instead of leaving the “undergraduate areas” (which is difficult because they occupy exactly the same space and time as the graduate areas) I will do you one better. I will stop teaching your classes. Of course that means the school will have to hire actual credentialed teachers to to do that which will result in a modest 10-15 % tuition increase and a doubling in most class sizes. You will however get to jog in peace.

    Yours,
    Guy-Dressed-Like-Spock

  2. iliketodance on November 23, 2009 at 3:26 am

    I’m so glad there was a remake to that tv show or i would have had no idea who that spock guy was!

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