YouTube Home Videos “Smoke Weed for the Camera, Honey.”

February 6, 2009

Maybe you’ve seen this video of 7 year old “David”, stoned off his gourd after a visit to the dentist. If not, I highly recommend it as David has the wisdom of an addict twice his age. At one point, David asks: “Is this real life?” Yes, my friend, it is, and it will only get worse for you. He seems to answer his own question shortly thereafter when he lets out a scream, implicitly directed at the futility of human existence. As the video continues, and the doors of perception show no sign of closing, David asks “Is this going to be forever?” Unfortunately for the viewer, no. However, thanks to bad parents everywhere, there’s no shortage of (allegedly) drunk/high kids on youtube. And, as YouTube commentator ‘littlewing82′ put it: “kids + legal drugs = awesome!”

This video, promisingly titled “Child on Drugs” turns out to be another video of a child’s return home from the “dentist”. This one gets bonus points for forcing the child to try to walk it off. His buzzkill parents apparently wouldn’t let him go to school, but they had no qualms letting their precious dope-fiend toddler wander on the street while all hopped up on goofballs.

Here’s charming baby Elliot, undeservedly being called a “sloppy drunk”. Sure, he’s sloppy by adult standards, but most baby’s could barely lift a beer bottle. The description claims the bottle is empty, which is clearly a lie. Still, even if Elliot chugs this bottle, he’d have a way to go to party as hard as this Polish baby, born 15 times over the legal limit.

This video, misleadingly entitled “Smokin. Baby” seems promising at first, until you realize the baby is not actually smoking anything more potent than a toothpick, which isn’t even lit. That being said, I appreciate it’s apparently sincere aim of legitimizing smoking for the under-5 set.

I like to think of this child as the Italian, baby-version of David Hasselhoff. Not even one-year old, this lil’ tyke has already mastered the art of mowing down food while being on the verge of blacking out.

“LIL KID ON DRUGS”. Either the one kid blew some lines in the bathroom before the recital, or he is cold sober while the rest of the class is on horse tranquilizers.

Do you have a favorite video of exploited children? Post it in the comments!

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4 Responses to “ YouTube Home Videos “Smoke Weed for the Camera, Honey.” ”

  1. RustedJesus on February 11, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    In college, I went to a party and partook in the free Nitrous oxide. I made an obstinate fool of myself and woke up in a strange bed with my clothes on backwards with a headache so terrible that I made my roommate check my skull for evidence of axe wounds. My 7th grade history teacher nearly died of hemorrhaging after sucking in too much N02 at a bachelor party. Nitrous is not for kids. But hilarious.

  2. revisingproust on February 13, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    not a youtube video but read this article and watch the video. takes baby parenting to another level.

    “how will you get on financially?”

    “what’s financially?”

    Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13

  3. nonpretentious on February 16, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    Starting with this post, I’m going to give my feedback directly to contributors in the comments.

    fine, fortuna said no.

    next time.

  4. Melissa Sachs on April 12, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    Did you know David’s dad is on Twitter? You can follow him.

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