How Irrelevant are you?! Take the Google Zero Challenge.

February 11, 2009

Sometimes, a man just needs to know that there is nobody in this world that he can possibly relate to.  Before the advent of online dating, this was no problem.  But now, you can’t have a thought without the internet reminding you that 45 people in your cul de sac have had the same revelation.  

WELL THIS STINKS PRETTY HARD.   In the spirit of burning bridges and recognizing my fundamental incapacity to relate to anyone else because I am alone in this huge, inconceivable world, I created the Google Zero challenge.  


it took me exactly five, but i got it! 
1) “The last time i went to the store they were selling yellow fever in those cute little vintage purses.”-3,130 Results
2) “Your mother would never consider taking a hot air balloon to djibouti to take it up the booty, would she?”-242 Results
3) “If there were a bacon and vaginal discharge factory around the corner, you wouldn’t see me with the nickname andrew jackson, thats for certain”-150 Results
4) ”my cat, who is still a homosexual, spends hours on vid chat talking to the hunnies, and brewing honey from the remains of broken hoomes and dreams”- 44 Results 
5) “Gardetto’s are being thrown into the earth’s core and lava is spewing from the eyeballs of a skunk!”-ZERO!

You can’t say” my life is over” until google returns you no results.  So what are you waiting for?!





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9 Responses to “ How Irrelevant are you?! Take the Google Zero Challenge. ”

  1. revisingproust on February 12, 2009 at 4:01 am

    can you use quotations to make sure that google is searching for an exact phrase or is that cheating?

  2. Lonnie on February 12, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    totally cheating. no quotes. just a penchant for loneliness!

  3. Matt Erickson on February 14, 2009 at 11:30 am

    “Though we shared a love for Stanley Burrell, Jewfro girl ended up julienning my heart for a Tofurkey casserole.”

    Can’t do it without using a brand name though. Kept getting U. of Chicago dictionary.

  4. Lonnie on February 14, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    well done.

    f the U of chicago. theres a reason they have an unearthly marriage rate.

  5. revisingproust on February 16, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    Your search -

    flamingo-pink yoga mats Skinny Cow fat-free boysenberry puffs swirly combatballoons thrown semi-vertically clockwise spacey foggy space-walking memories within frozen time

    - did not match any documents.

  6. revisingproust on February 17, 2009 at 12:00 am

    this is like poetry.

  7. Lonnie on February 17, 2009 at 12:03 am

    but lonelier :)

  8. revisingproust on February 17, 2009 at 12:53 am

    so, which murakami do you like better?

  9. revisingproust on February 17, 2009 at 12:54 am

    i think this is better than pathwords.

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