nonpretentious

Overwhelmed by E-mail: New Year’s Resolutions for Gmail

I am google’s biggest fan. No really.  Google’s seemingly, endless capacity paired with its A+++ search tool is a hoarder’s dream come true.

Exhibit 1:  The 2,000+ e-mails in my inbox for my main (personal) e-mail account.

Who knows how many more e-mails I’d find, archived away, if I ever were to click on an unassuming label that I created entitled “CAH.”  [As innocuous as an acronym may be, the CAH or Crimes Against Humanity label is sorta like my version of DND or Do Not Disturb.]

Exhibit 2:  My loose morals when it comes to giving away my e-mail address.

A website that requires me to register with my e-mail?  Who cares?  Sign me up!  Heck, I’d even enter my credit card numbers for the right sites (they’re simply for validation purposes, right?)

May as well not stop my benevolence there…

Based on my “non-spending spree” at the store, JCrew.com probably didn’t expect much when it asked for my e-mail address in exchange for virtual promotions and gifts that I will never be able to afford.  Don’t judge a girl’s wants by her cash flow.  This girl is ever-so-generous when it comes to doling out KBs, MBs, or GBs for high-end fashion spam.

You too: Gap.com, Amazon.com, NYTimes Headlines, Sephora, Banana Republic, etc.   Bring. It.

Exhibit 3:  The time I spend searching – well, it’s not-quite-productive… but it’s also not-quite-wasteful, especially if you’re in front of a computer all day at work.

My Armor: Jet Fuel

I guess I could say that I’ve grown fond of starting my day with coffee and a mission…an excavation mission!

Armed with jet fuel, I attempt to find the one or two important e-mails buried among the pages of others that will go unread. Those bold, unclicked reminders of all of the excess that I can’t bring myself to delete.

Because.     Who.     Knows.

Who knows when I’ll need to remember the name of someone who was on a class e-mail list of mine three years ago.

Where did I begin? Where am I at? Is it really 4, wait, 5 in the morning?   Do I really have to go into work tomorrow?

Oh yes, my New Year’s resolutions for gmail:

• Add Tags:  Tags will do for labels what labels did for folders –> i.e. Get rid of the stupid drop down box!  Tags mean autocomplete.  Autocomplete means inefficiency.

Once there are tags, I could go either way between the following suggestions:

Get rid of labels completely: Tags = Labels. No drop down menus.  No DIY labels trees (e.g. Label 1 = Family/Requires Response; Label 2 = Family/No Response Required).  You have a form to add them at the bottom of the e-mail.  Tags serve same sorting function and can assign many tags to one e-mail.  Could also do a “tag” & “category” hierarchy similar to wordpress.

OR

• Keep the labels and use tags as a complement. Implement tags as a hybrid between the google search function and the labels. (See: this suggestion – 2 years ago!)

Happy 2009!  And, may I get up in time for work tomorrow…

Ready for 100% Fun – What's Your Favorite Matthew Sweet Song

There’s a little bit of a debate over here…which Matthew Sweet song is your fave?

If you can match the contributor with their favorite Matthew Sweet song…well, you’ll get a nice little present in the mail.  

4 contributors (revisingproust, Fortuna_Köln, Bucky_Katz, and BrandyB).  4 songs (Girlfriend, We’re the Same, Sick of Myself, or I’ve Been Waiting).  Your pick.

as an aside, there are now 2 reasons why I love Matthew Sweet.  

#1) Susanna Hoffs is a pretty Jewess.

Matthew with my favorite Jewess

#2) Matthew Sweet makes his site with Joomla!  (look at the favicon!)

Ready for 100% Fun – What’s Your Favorite Matthew Sweet Song

There’s a little bit of a debate over here…which Matthew Sweet song is your fave?

If you can match the contributor with their favorite Matthew Sweet song…well, you’ll get a nice little present in the mail.  

4 contributors (revisingproust, Fortuna_Köln, Bucky_Katz, and BrandyB).  4 songs (Girlfriend, We’re the Same, Sick of Myself, or I’ve Been Waiting).  Your pick.

as an aside, there are now 2 reasons why I love Matthew Sweet.  

#1) Susanna Hoffs is a pretty Jewess.

Matthew with my favorite Jewess

#2) Matthew Sweet makes his site with Joomla!  (look at the favicon!)

What’s Your Favorite TED Talk?

Late on this bandwagon? Yes. Who cares!!

what’s your favorite TED talk?

Get Rich Quick with Web 2.0 (Part 1): Network & Chat at the Watercooler – A How-To Guide on LinkedIn and Typing (I mean, Twittering)

I’m simply boggled by the multitudes of articles out there that are dedicated to teaching people how to use “social media 2.0.”  If people take the time to sign up for the site, enter their name, their e-mail, create a password, verify that they’re human(ness)…don’t you think they should be smart enough to know how to use the website?

Judging by the literature that’s out there, it doesn’t look like it.  Instead, it looks like marketing professionals need to learn how to use these tools for marketing.  Human resource professionals need to learn how to use these tools for sourcing and recruiting candidates.  PR professionals need to learn how to use these tools for feeding information.  And, the casual, narcissistic user needs to learn how to strategically gather more followers, connections, or fans while staying true to his or her casual, narcissistic self.  (Note:  a few of those blog authors would learn a few things if their links were a little more user friendly, don’t you think?  It’s a little lesson we learned awhile ago thanks to evil beet!)

Therefore, in this series of articles, nonpretentious will be your meta guide through the guides as we take a look at what the “pros” can teach us on how to use these so-called “social” media sites…the first two we attack?  Well, obviously LinkedIn & Twitter! Continue reading…

Mmm, Bacon.

Bacon is good. Google is good. Bacongoogle is better.

JMIT [Bargain] Tip: Scrounge through your mom’s things to find romantic comedy this holiday season!

You are so antisemitic. I bet you saw the title of this post and figured, ah, the Jewish Mother-in-Training’s back…she’s probably wishing me a Happy Hanukkah or Chanukah.

But, no, darling Readers. If there is one thing that I give to you this holiday season, other than my companionship on Christmas Eve, which is up for raffle to the loneliest Christian out there, that one thing is Nora Ephron or Nora Ephron’s writing to be exact. You can find her latest book at the nearest Borders, Barnes & Noble, Costco (obviously!), or in your mother’s library – the best place to go shopping in this economy.

Heard of her? Born in the 1980s? Born on Earth? Nora Ephron is the woman who gave us the orgasm scene from Harry met Sally and the reminder of that long-lost cultural icon – the AOL voice announcing that You’ve Got Mail.

For those cynics out there who are thinking that I’m misleading you, per the British study that Romantic Comedies can Ruin Your Life, broaden your horizons.

Continue reading…

11 of 23

God, I miss myself.

Question #11:
You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, “I will now make them a dollar more attractive.” he waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell nothing is different. But—somehow—this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can’t deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though—you can only pay him once. You can’t keep giving money until you’re satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.
How much cash do you give the wizard?

I am poor. And already extremely good looking. I often get up in the morning and wonder, what can I do with my good looks? How can I make a living off of how extremely good looking I am? My girlfriend then punches me in the face and tells me to brush my teeth.

What is this wizard wearing? Does everybody else see him? Is he white? These are all important questions that will determine exactly how much money I would give him. It really comes down to two options: 1) Everything in my wallet, or 2) $2. Which on a normal day option 1 would be the same as option 2. Like I said above, I’m poor.

You know, I’m not even going to bother contemplating the other option of just giving him nothing and saying, “Nah. I feel good about who I am, I don’t need a wizard to make me feel better about myself or how I look.” Cause that’s kind of bullshit. We all need a wizard. Shit, I used to go to the bar and drink copious amounts of alcohol in order to make everyone else better looking. I might as well spend a little dough to make myself sexier, without the guilt of plastic surgery. So, I’d give him $5. The cost of a semi-quality tasty brew. Cheers.

Recommendation: Dial-A-Stranger

Hello. Nobody seems to be around except tough_love. Well, I’ve decided to rejoin society by trying to get famous. I won’t tell you where I’ve been, because you’ve never been and you just wouldn’t understand.

Dial-A-Stranger is a podcast/site run by Mercedes and Zachary. Every week they tape and broadcast phone calls to strangers. They pose one question to each stranger and you, the listener, get to play audio voyeur and listen to the true story of everyday people’s lives. On the webpage, you can submit your phone number to be called by Mercedes and Zachary, and they will ask you a question.  Or you can submit a question of your own and then tune in each week to see if your question was asked.

Mercedes and Zachary have two of the most soothing voices I’ve ever heard, the kind of stuff that you could listen to for hours, or fall asleep to if need be. The music in the background is original music by Mercedes’s husband. The calls you will hear are funny, sad, uplifting, and humbling. You really never know what you’re going to get. It’s ah.maze.ing. How amazing? Amazing enough to be nominated for The People’s Choice Podcast Awards in the Cultural/Arts category. They just *barely* lost out to This American Life (I wasn’t going to link to TAL, because I mean, do they really need another, but then realized it might be good trackback traffic for nonpretentious)

So what does this have to do with me being famous? I got called by Dial-A-Stranger! It is Episode 54, currently located on the homepage. It was a fun experience. I’m kinda bummed that I didn’t get asked a more contemplative question. Or life-consequential question. But I had fun nonetheless. Things I learned: my voice sounds nothing like what it sounds like in my head; I mumble; and my volume fluctuates a disturbing amount; I don’t say ‘uh’ or ‘like’ as much as I thought I did. But my shining moment comes at the very, very end of the episode, after the second caller and after the answering machine stuff. Listen to the whole thing otherwise you’ll miss it.

Enjoy me. And Dial-A-Stranger.

I know. Now you know my real name. But you can call me Dragon.

UK of the Day

This fact made me a little sad…

In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child.

Read more!

Poor piggy!