Magical Underwear

November 13, 2008
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For all I know, Mormons long ago abandoned magical underwear. But since Mormons have been picking on gays lately, I feel like picking on Mormons. And I about lost it when I saw this on Dan Savage’s blog:

I also found some additional helpful information on Mormon undergarments on YouTube:

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4 Responses to “ Magical Underwear ”

  1. Lonnie on November 16, 2008 at 2:11 am

    Oink-

    I’d have to say that picking on the Mormons for prop 8 is great. But picking on a Mormon ritual out of context doesn’t make your point any stronger. A lot of us are shocked/hurt by what kind of message prop 8 sends. But this establishment needs the right kind of ridicule. Not the kind that stems only out of frustration.

  2. MrOink on November 16, 2008 at 6:18 am

    I disagree.

    A few thoughts on that:

    (1) Lighten up a little bit. I filed the posts under humor.

    (2) It’s not out of context at all. My posts reflect what I’m interested in at the time I write them. I don’t usually turn my attention to the wacky world of the Mormons, but Prop 8 has once again spurred my interest.

    (3) You make it sound like I defamed the Mormon church. But it’s not defamation if it’s true. The magical underwear thing, wacky though it may be, is apparently true — at least for some Mormons (e.g., Steve Young & the former head of the Mormon church).

    (4) Not only do I disagree with the Mormon’s stance on Prop 8, I disagree with Mormon religion in general. I mean, for god’s sake (and no, I don’t capitalize “god”), most religions are pretty wacky, but Mormonism? Come on. It’s off the charts. If there weren’t so many of them and a big temple in Utah, I’d think it was April Fools Day.

    But people base their worldviews on this crap. That’s the problem.

    Think about this for a second:

    14-year-old boy said he found golden plates in the backyard. Boy says he can’t show plates to anybody. Boy puts a stone in a stovepipe hat, sticks his face in, and says he’s reading the plates. Boy says nobody but him may see these golden plates. Boy tells assistant to write what plates say. Assistant loses all the work. Oops. Boy finishes with the plates. Where the plates? Can’t show the plates, the boy says. The angel said so. Boy loses the plates in the end. Nobody ever sees them.

    The boy grows up to be a man — a lucky, lucky man. The man says that it was “revealed” to him that he should marry other women. And so he does. The man married one and then another, and then thirty (30) or so others in the next two and a half years. A small complication that ten or so were already married, one would suppose. Another ten or so were teenagers, with a couple being only 14 years old, but no worries — this is the founder of a religion we’re talking about here. No matter that these days he’d be in prison as the head of a child-abusing cult. Oh, and wear frontier-style underwear — it’ll protect you from harm — and don’t drink coffee.

    I mean, come on folks. Where’s your common sense?

    I’m all for being sensitive to people’s beliefs here, but at some point we’re just enabling them. At some point, we have to admit that this all sounds a little too much like every cult we’ve ever heard of.

    Of course, this isn’t to say that any other religion is right, either. I’m an agnostic, which is to say that I actively believe that I have no fucking clue as to whether there might be a god or gods or whether any of the religions on earth is the correct one. So, I frankly have no idea. But I know nutty when I see it. And here I’m just calling a spade a spade.

    I know this might seem unkind to some, but it’s hard to convey it without being blunt. Like I said, people base their worldviews on this stuff. And I don’t think it’s very useful (especially to gay people).

  3. Lonnie on November 16, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    Knowing nutty when you see it is not a fair standard.
    Like any other religion, some Mormons have distorted text and led disgustingly immoral lives. Other Mormons have used doctrine to guide a fairly rational and productive existence.

    The reaosn I say out of context is because taking any single ritual of any single religion/culture/entity and looking at it is going to produce the judgment “this is wacky”. There is nothing inherently more wacky about the mormons than any other faith. And liberal science–our free system of discourse–has already agreed that religion does not mix with the intellectual standards of “no personal authority” and “no final say.”

    And while I’m certainly not angry about this, I also don’t know if I’m going to lighten up. I do not think you defamed the Mormon church– I think you are doing yourself a disservice by distancing yourself from Mormons by emphasizing their weirdness.

  4. MrOink on November 16, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    We’re not going to agree on this. But, a few points:

    (1) I’m not criticizing Mormonism because it’s different than other religions. On the contrary, my biggest problem with Mormonism is that it’s like other strict religions. I have problems with religion in general.

    (2) About your comment: “The reaosn I say out of context is because taking any single ritual of any single religion/culture/entity and looking at it is going to produce the judgment “this is wacky”.

    That’s a wildly general statement you made there. I’m not sure I can even respond. Perhaps I can point out all of the cultural practices that aren’t wacky, but I won’t. I’ll just say this again: wearing underwear that you believe to be magical and protect you from harm is pretty out there. You think I’m being intolerant, but I’m not.

    What’s an example of a non-wacky cultural practice? How about picking out your underwear according to its comfort and the fact that it doesn’t have a seam running up your ass giving you a wedgy. That’s decidedly less wacky than believing your underwear is magical and protective.

    You may respond to this by giving me several examples of wacky cultural practices and then declaring that all cultural practices are such if looked at closely. This is not the case. There are wacky and non-wacky. Giving me examples of the former does not prove that they are all that way.

    (3) As to your comment: “There is nothing inherently more wacky about the mormons than any other faith.”‘

    I’m not sure I want to argue with you on this one because it really doesn’t matter. Most religions make no sense, which begs the question of why people buy into them so loyally. In any case, Mormonism is pretty wacky, like every other religion. And that’s the problem.

    (4) About your comment: “And liberal science–our free system of discourse–has already agreed that religion does not mix with the intellectual standards of “no personal authority” and “no final say.”’

    I have no faint idea of what you’re trying to say here. Maybe it’s a high-brow way of trumping me. I’m not sure.

    (5) Finally, as to your comment:

    “I do not think you defamed the Mormon church– I think you are doing yourself a disservice by distancing yourself from Mormons by emphasizing their weirdness.”

    How am I doing myself a disservice by distancing myself from Mormons? The only way anyone ever breaks out of religious brainwashing (and I know because until I was about 16, I too was brainwashed by my religion) is to get some PERSPECTIVE. That means distancing oneself from their religion enough to get perspective.

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