nonpretentious

Dispatches From A [Potential] Juror

* The names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent.

Time: 7:46 pm, Thursday, October 30th, a few weeks until jury duty

Receive jury duty summons in mail.  Turn in jury questionnaire with big letters written on it, “YES!  First time!!”

Time: Some time between October 30th and November 10th

Misplace jury duty summons.  Remember that summons said November 11th, 8:15 am.  Question the accuracy of this due to the holiday (Veteran’s Day) but do not attempt to call courthouse.

Brag to everyone repeatedly that performing the highest civic service other than serving in armed forces on November 11th.

Time:  9:47 pm, Monday, November 10th, 11 hours, 13 minutes until jury duty 8 days, 11 hours, 13 minutes until jury duty

-11:13hrs: Raid room, er, conduct mission to find misplaced jury duty summons to confirm that, yes, jury duty is tomorrow albeit (stupid) municipal holiday.

-10:01hrs: Resolve that jury duty summons is missing.

-07:15hrs:  Attempt to go to sleep.  Pass the time by contemplating the huge ethical and moral issues that may face in courtroom tomorrow. Continue reading…

First AG from Queens?

Though it may be not be official, news reports and conventional wisdom have it that Obama will nominate Eric Holder to be the next Attorney General.

This would make him not only the first African-American Attorney General, but also (I believe) the first AG from Queens! (can someone confirm that he’s actually the first? I’m not positive of it).

I know, I know. Like me, most of you probably also live in Queens and are wondering to yourself, what neighborhood? I mean, there are 2.2 million people in Queens. It’s not exactly a small area. Apparently, he’s from East Elmhurst, which is close to Jackson Heights and, of course, Elmhurst. And it’s only 1 1/2 neighborhoods away from me.

So, needless to say this is exciting. He’s eminately qualified and from Queens. Obama couldn’t make a better choice.

Verdict: Map Ref 41°N 93°W

Yes, friends, it’s finally time to reveal the winner of Cover v. Original #3: Wire v. My Bloody Valentine (N/A as mp3). The original art-punks versus the original shoegazers. Two will enter, but only one will leave.

Continue reading…

Winter Tips From a JMIT

1) Carry a tub of aquaphor around. It’s nippy out, and no one wants some chapped lips on their nippys! (Sorry, I forgot to mention that this post wasn’t PG).

No, but really. For us college gals (Me and……) it really is hard to find an outfit that’s appropriate for a party and the cold weather. So, I guess the JMIT is stumped. I’m really unsure what to do in situations like this. Obviously you can wear a coat. But then that stirs up all kinds of sanity problems. Where to put it? Can you trust leaving it on a dirty bench? What if someone steals it and you’re back at square one? Oh woe is us. So, this is your time – JMITs and JFITS (fathers in training)! Help me survive this winter! If you don’t have any tips, maybe you can sew me a cute wool dress that has a built in heater.

2) Buy snow boots. Seriously, I’m sick of people falling. Well, no not really. I’m sick of watching people fall, offering them help, them saying “no i’m fine”, and then seeing them waddle away because they broke every single vertebrae in their back. Get some traction, fools!

3) Wear layers! I mean, come on, everyone knows that once you enter into a building you’re going to need sunglasses, flip flops, and a snow cone.

4) Go sledding, ice skate, make a snowman. It’s always fun to be a kid once and a while. Then, after you’ve had your fun, trip a kid on the ice, knock down a snowman, and show these kids they have nothing to look forward to but 4 years of annoying school work and a lifetime of boring jobs.

oh man. i’m dreaming of a white christmas.
-your favorite jmit