nonpretentious

Hint for Show and Tell: It Blows things Up

I now subscribe to NPR’s *free* podcast “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell me!” I listened to the two most recent segments during my commute this morning, and heard a story I just had to share. I recommend these podcasts because a) they are informative (i.e. I did get caught up on current events, albeit some were minor and unimportant, but current nonetheless? and b) i did get a few chuckles here and there. I have found it really hard to laugh at comics, and I have no idea why.

The 11.17.08 podcast spoke of this most recent event that took place in Akron, OH, where a kindergarten student brought in a hand grenade for show and tell. Here is the short article from The Plain Dealer Reporter:

AKRON — A kindergartner here wowed more than his classmates today when he brought a hand grenade to show-and-tell, fire officials said.

The 5-year-old stood before curious classmates at Seiberling Elementary School on Brittian Road and asked them to guess what he had in his bookbag.

His clue was that the object could blow things up, said Akron schools spokeswoman Karen Ingraham.

The teacher grabbed the bag and saw the hand grenade. She alerted the principal who called out police and fire officials.

The school was evacuated until fire officials determined the hand grenade was a “dummy” that looked real but was no longer activated, said Fire Department Spokesman John Gordon.

Such dummy grenades can be bought at army surplus stores.

Ingraham said the student’s parents were alerted. Schools officials will determine whether the child will face any disciplinary action but Ingraham said considering his young age she doubted there was any criminal intent in his actions.

Students returned to classrooms today.

Not that we should joke about bombs in schools these days, but I just had to laugh. I would give anything to see the faces of the teacher and the school admins when this student pulled it out of the bag. And whatever happened to the days when children ran by their parents what they were bringing to show and tell? Or, God forbid, was this suggested by a parent? It does smell like something an older sibling might suggest.

I racked my brain to try and remember what I brought in for show and tell, and I honestly do not remember! Maybe a stuffed animal or a random Barbie (or Ninja turtle, depending on the year) but nothing sticks out in my head.

What about you?

Why Most People Wouldn’t Live With Me: The Rate Josh Wood Story

It’s not because I’m messy, moody, dependent on others for transportation or a food stealer; it’s because sometimes I wake up early to do school work, get hopped up on caffeine and decide to make a website about you while my oatmeal microwaves. This morning as my room mate, the titular Josh Wood, snoozed comfortably one room away I was working to turn his long time friend (the internet) into a tool for his possible humiliation and my certain amusement. I decided to set up www.ratejoshwood.wordpress.com as the realization of a joke I came up with with a friend a few weeks back now that Josh is officially on the prowl again where the community of girls he’s dated, friends who have embarassing information on him, and girls he may potentially date could all mingle and compare notes.

Four hours ago I thought I would probably make the one post show it to people laugh at the post/about and that would be the end but I’ve thought about it more now and I’ve decided Josh is actually pretty interesting. He has done some absolutely absurd things and plenty of less publiciced cool and nice things. As someone who dislikes nothing as far as I can tell, he operates in a weird social sphere that allows him to experience pretty much anything his environment will allow and now that he has discovered flight pretty much anything can happen.

Therefore, I have decided to expand this joke into an experiment. Will people read about this kid’s life? Can I use my posts and the comments of our friends and acquaintances to instill some kind of positive and negative reinforcement over our subject? Will I eventually drive him insane and seriously damage our friendship and living arrangement? I look forward to discovering all of these things.

Why Most People Wouldn’t Live With Me: The Rate Josh Wood Story

It’s not because I’m messy, moody, dependent on others for transportation or a food stealer; it’s because sometimes I wake up early to do school work, get hopped up on caffeine and decide to make a website about you while my oatmeal microwaves. This morning as my room mate, the titular Josh Wood, snoozed comfortably one room away I was working to turn his long time friend (the internet) into a tool for his possible humiliation and my certain amusement. I decided to set up www.ratejoshwood.wordpress.com as the realization of a joke I came up with with a friend a few weeks back now that Josh is officially on the prowl again where the community of girls he’s dated, friends who have embarassing information on him, and girls he may potentially date could all mingle and compare notes.

Four hours ago I thought I would probably make the one post show it to people laugh at the post/about and that would be the end but I’ve thought about it more now and I’ve decided Josh is actually pretty interesting. He has done some absolutely absurd things and plenty of less publiciced cool and nice things. As someone who dislikes nothing as far as I can tell, he operates in a weird social sphere that allows him to experience pretty much anything his environment will allow and now that he has discovered flight pretty much anything can happen.

Therefore, I have decided to expand this joke into an experiment. Will people read about this kid’s life? Can I use my posts and the comments of our friends and acquaintances to instill some kind of positive and negative reinforcement over our subject? Will I eventually drive him insane and seriously damage our friendship and living arrangement? I look forward to discovering all of these things.

Teachers, Unions, & Tenure

A recent New York Times article got me thinking about this topic. It begins by stating:

“Michelle Rhee, the hard-charging chancellor of the Washington public schools, thinks teacher tenure may be great for adults, those who go into teaching to get summer vacations and great health insurance, for instance. But it hurts children, she says, by making incompetent instructors harder to fire.”

A controversial issue.

Michelle Rhee is the relatively new head of the DC public schools, one of the worst districts in America. She started her career (many years ago) in Teach for America.

Part of her effort seems to be aimed against teacher’s unions — not necessarily a bad thing. To the extent that crummy teachers get in the way of improving crummy schools, unions and tenure aren’t helpful (and trust me, I understand that there are other problems that are even bigger, like parental and community support for education).

I was a labor organizer some years ago for a short time. I quit for a variety of reasons, but among them was the fact that I learned that unions aren’t all good or all bad and that sometimes unions do more harm than good.

As a matter of public policy, I believe that unions are most beneficial when representing low-wage and working-class workers (e.g., janitors, nursing-home workers). On the other hand, I think there’s less public benefit as union members are more educated (e.g., university professors, teachers, medical doctors), primarily because more educated workers who earn more money have far more bargaining power, as individuals. And there is less danger that more educated workers who earn more money will be exploited by their employers. Society also benefits when employees of institutions (e.g., university professors) must compete in a meritocracy, rather than be promoted through seniority alone.

But back to the the matter of teachers’ tenure.

We take it for granted that school teachers have tenure. But what is its actual purpose, other than protecting jobs? Does it benefit kids in some way? The same NY Times article quoted above had this to say:

“Teachers first won tenure rights across much of the United States early in the 20th century as a safeguard against patronage firings in big cities and interference by narrow-minded school boards in small towns, said Jeffrey Mirel, a professor of history and education at the University of Michigan.

“And the historical rationale remains good,” Dr. Mirel said, pointing to the case of a renowned high school biology teacher in Kansas who was forced to retire nine years ago because he refused to teach creationism.

“Without tenure,” Dr. Mirel said, “teachers can still face arbitrary firing because of religious views, or simply because of the highly politicized nature of American society.”’

This rings hollow with me. I cry bullshit. Why? Because anybody in any job can be theoretically fired for religious views or politics, though it would generally be illegal to do so. But even without tenure, teachers have just as much protection as any other worker in America — and more in some cases. And the only place where this commonly comes up is in high-school biology classrooms — not a sufficient rationale for tenure. In fact, Dr. Mirel’s reasoning doesn’t apply any more to teachers than doctors or lawyers or engineers.

The article goes on to give another possible rationale for tenure:

“Kerry Sylvia [a teacher], 38, said she opposed Ms. Rhee’s proposal. Although she is an award-winning world history teacher and works long hours to help students at her high school improve, Ms. Sylvia said that without tenure she would nevertheless feel vulnerable to arbitrary firing because she has publicly opposed some Rhee initiatives and speaks out about things like her school’s decrepit heating system.”

I still don’t buy it — for a couple of reasons: (1) Why should teachers be treated differently than any other worker? And since when was okay to publicly oppose your employer? Had I done so while working as a labor organizer, I’d have been out on my ass pretty quickly. With some exceptions (e.g., whistleblowing), insulting your employer in public is generally a no-no in life. (2) Teachers, as public employees, are already protected with respect to free speech to a greater extent than most workers.

Thoughts?

3 Books That Should Not Be Misplaced in the Self-Help Section

1.  V is for Vendetta – Alan Moore

2.  Go Ask Alice – Anonymous

3.  Crime & Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

* Thr33s is a column created by slackers inspired by 5ives.  Feel free to post your thr33s.