Interesting Fact about Your Nation
Your nation is safe. It is full of yearners yearning for the golden glory of your nation.
Don’t worry. Your nation is safe.
Archived entries for
Types of cancer I might have, some day.
1) Prancer Cancer- a benign cluster of cells develops around my prancing muscles.
After intense prance-o-therapy, I’m back on my feet telling my story to millions in television ads.
2) Toothbrush cancer- My tastebuds double as carcinogens for inanimate objects. After three months of brushing my tongue devoutly, a malignant patch spreads over the entire surface area of the bristles and that attractive rubber grip, and when it passes away I vow never to brush again.
3) Cancer with the Stars- A group of C-list celebrities deal the emotional turmoil and utter hopelesness that comes along with a diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer. Viewers decide who goes into surgery first based on a popular vote. Faced with a decision between child-actor turned family man and that girl from that mid 90’s hit with the fake tits, I choose Silicona McHotty-totties. (All of the stars die anyways!)
4) Cancer that I thought was a Leo- I was reading her vibes COMPLETELY wrong at the bar, but she was flattered that I didn’t mistake her for a libra or a piece of shit gemini fuck-rat.
5) Luv-handle Cancer- Finally! The male preganncy rumors surrounding my stretch marks will dissapear with a surgical procedure that brings the international medical community together in undocumented fashion. A girl in my tri-state area makes a youtube compilation of the 65 hour media spectacle. It features a coldplay song.
Would you like to know what “financial crisis” means?
I know I did.
If you have not listened to the This American Life Episode #365, I highly recommend it. It’s informative, impartial, and interesting. (iii reflects !!!)
My favorite part of the program was the 2nd piece on credit default swaps. 
Ira tells* us that “one way to think about this product is this: if bad mortgages got the economy sick, these next things you’re about to hear about spread the sickness into an epidemic. these are credit default swaps.”
And, 
Alex Blumberg says*, “Now normally when you think of physicists inventing scary things, atomic weapons come to mind. And credit default swaps have been called [by 
Warren Buffett]… financial weapons of mass destruction.”
*tells and says: what i heard & transcribed. but, have a listen for yourself!
10 of 23
I am deadlier than thou.
And on my way to certain disaster, I’m trying to find my way to ubuntu. If you know the way feel free to take my hand.
Question #10:
You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that—somewhere—your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.
Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?
Historically, my feelings have gotten me nothing but trouble. My mother and I don’t really get along. Hold on, let me take that back. We get along fine. But we fake it. We’ll get along until the next time we fight. Until that day, we pretend, mostly for my father and brother. Or perhaps I fake it for her and she is faking it for me. Too much effort? Maybe. But I’ve been doing it for about 15 years now. I’ve gotten rather good at it.
I’d stay till the end of the movie. If it turned out it she was dead, 20 minutes wouldn’t make a difference. I would just have 20 less minutes to grieve and question my decisions of the past. My name is RustedJesus and I’ve never claimed to be saint.
Are you a-w-a-r-e?
Check out the above video (courtesy of YouTube). I apologize if you have seen it before. It has been floating around YouTube and made its way onto some morning news programs. I found it very interesting, and pretty true to human nature. I would share, but I don’t want to give anything away. Let me know how you do…
*sidenote*: is there any way that I can put the video directly into my post, instead of linking to YouTube? I could not figure it out.
Confessions of pizza and cake
We had a going away party at work today. One of my co-workers (V.) is starting a new job on Monday, with, surprisingly, a financial institution. I was unaware that anybody was hiring right now, let alone financial companies. K. brought in pizza (from Pizza Hut, my favorite!) and cake for lunch today (so much for sticking to the plan to drop a few pounds before the wedding day), to celebrate, and I was proud of myself because I saw her carrying the cake and pizza, and instead of ignoring her and getting mad that I did not know what she was celebrating, and letting it get to me that I was somehow not invited (mass emails are sent around the office for these group celebrations, and I had not received one), I asserted myself and asked her what was going on. She told me that we were celebrating V.’s going away, and asked me if I got the email. I said, no, and laughed, and she felt bad that it did not reach me. She thought I was joking, and I do think a part of her felt bad. Maybe. I just brushed it aside, helped her carry everything, and enjoyed the celebration.
The old me would have secretly held it against K. for not personally inviting me, and my mind would race wondering if there were people in the office who secretly did not like me. You know, conspiracies are so in right now. Ha.
But, the new me knows that there are bigger things in life, and no, not everyone is out to get me. Sometimes it is best to just let the little things go…and enjoy pizza and cake. Now, for an afternoon nap (not).
Currently reading: Confessions of An Ugly Stepsister (by Gregory Maguire) pg 72 of 368
No Jinx Here. Look Away.
As I am reading _The Nine_, which I highly recommend…
I was troubled by this post of mine a few days ago in light of this quote (on page 146 of my copy)…
In the Court itself, as a new term began in October 2000, a near silence prevailed. Controversial cases seemed to have vanished from the pipeline. For the justices, the sleepy docket was a welcome respite after the dramas of the previous year. Greeting a new group of law clerks that fall, David Souter was smiling when he made a prediction: ‘This is going to be a very boring year.’
…sleepy docket it was. Until….Bush v. Gore, 531 U.S. 98 (2000).
We best not having the Supreme Court involved in this year’s election.
a series of letters to inspiring writers: #6
Dear Christopher Buckley:
Each time I ride the Acela, I look for you. Maybe I’m headed to New York as you’re returning to Washington or vice versa. Maybe you walked by me at the very same moment that I had to rummage through my bag to look for a pen to sign my ticket. Either way, as of today, I haven’t seen you. I won’t assume that you were purposely being inconspicuous. Instead, I’ll simply write to you and tell you everything that I planned to tell you, including the one question that I would ask, if we would ever meet on the Acela.
To be quite honest, this works well for me for two reasons. First, I write more eloquently than I speak (damn my Philly accent!). Second, I publish a column on http://www.nonpretentious.com entitled “Letters to Inspiring Writers.” The gist of it is pretty self-explanatory. Basically, I can post this letter to you, Inspiring Writer, and kill two birds with one stone.
Back to what I wanted to tell you…
Continue reading…
Book Review: The Late Bloomer’s Revolution by Amy Cohen
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Those who know me (or who know my writing), may be surprised by my choice for my first book review attempt. It’s not that I don’t like chick-lit or that I have to be eponymous. I never expected, similar to the Jewish-female author Amy Cohen, to be addressing my own life as a single woman at the age of “late twenties.”
I’ve been the type of girl whose always had a boyfriend. Continue reading…
