What is going on?

September 25, 2008

By Anonymous

Online dating…does it exist?

Presidential election…who’s running, Goldman Sachs or Foldem Sachs? Why did the Milwaukee Brewers fire Ned Yost two weeks before their first playoff run since 1982? Why is Brett Favre running around in a New York Jets uniform?

Here is a message I got from a girl on match.com, who has been sending me random emails and phone texts for a good month now but has never actually met me or “dated me.” She has canceled on two ‘dates’ but has proceeded to up date me with her life with her dog, her grandmother, her job, her apartment, her neighbors, her family get-togethers, oh and finally…her niece.

Here is a sample email…

I hear you on being busy. Last week was crazy and if today is any indication, this week is bound to be worse. At least I still have time to drop an email or two. I came home Friday to find that the lady next to me had her washer overflow and the water backed up into my apartment. What a nightmare. I’ve been dealing with that ever since, fighting with the apartment complex about getting the pipes capped off, etc. I think it was necessary to inform them that I am a paralegal at a defense firm that specializes in property damage claims. Maybe they will take me more seriously.

Glad to hear that you had a good game of golf Sunday. Saturday was such a wash-out. I had my niece overnight Friday night, so I spent the day with the family on Saturday, but was so tired. It’s our family routine though – Saturdays at my parents – so I couldn’t bail. My parents would kill me if they didn’t get to see the dog. Nice, huh? They don’t care if I’m there, just as long as he is

I’ve got dinner and a comedy show this Friday with friends and then a friend’s 30th birthday party on Saturday night. I am sure there will be beer pong, so I’ll be thinking of you.

Hope the stocks are doing well. Talk to you later.

I actually have a bunch of these…I just tell her I’m busy…golfing. This one fired me up though…

hey – what’s up? haven’t heard from you and not sure why. if you’ve met someone or just not that interested anymore, please let me know. otherwise, would love to hear from you.

I’ve put up with these stupid emails and texts for over a month, I think, and have conversed over the phone once because I felt X-Box Live was more entertaining than chatting on the phone about her grandmother and her dog and how she’s a bad ass paralegal. I sent her this today in response to what she said right above…

I am doing ok. I have not met anyone. I’m just doing my thing. I guess I’d like to meet you/date you, before conversing on the phone/email everyday. I know you are busy but I am looking for someone to date, not just be a friend. I have friends but no girlfriend. I know you said you are ‘shy’ and, frankly, I am ‘shy’ too but I would much rather go out on a date with you, get to know you personally, instead of sending emails. Otherwise, I see no point in this going further. I know we both have mentioned that we found the other attractive, so there could be some chemistry here, but I find it strange conversing over emails and phone without any ‘chemistry.’ If you would like to ‘date’ me..great, please feel free to give me a call and we can figure out something fun to do together (and we can get to know each other that way)…I am completely harmless and am a nice guy but I feel like you are afraid to date me which was why we both signed up for ‘match.com.’

Before I comment; her response…

Hey! Jeez, I’m a little surprised by your email. I did go on match to meet and date someone and am interested in getting to know you. Unfortunately, the 2 times we had “planned” something, unforeseen situations arose – my grandmom was sick and Hurricane Hannah decided to drop inches of rain on us. It wasn’t intentional or even my “shyness” that led to the plans falling through. I’m not making excuses and I’m not afraid of you. I just thought it would be nice to talk on the phone or email to get to know someone a little before a “cold call date”. And, I thought that of all people, you would be the most likely to understand what it was like to be busy. If you would like to meet for a drink after work or for dinner or something, let me know what your schedule is like and let’s figure something out.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???!!!?

I guess I don’t get online dating. What ever happened to going out, having fun, and getting to know someone? This girl has been bugging me for a month and I have talked to her once and then she has the nerve to ask me if I’ve met someone so that she can continue to bother me with my lack of sex life??? WTF??!! Is it Philly? I’ve met quite of few of them and they seem pretty content either dating their girlfriends and taunting the men out on the town for numbers or gettin a pizza delivery boy-toy that they can pretend makes them feel satisfied….I don’t get it.

Goldman Sachs or Foldem’ Sachs? I was a broker for four years and I can’t believe the ‘bull’ from Merrill Lynch just got eaten (gone). 700 billion dollar cover? WTF? Who’s paying for this? Is the US Govt playing at the casinos? Look out, friends, this looks to be a wild ride for the economics of our country…

Ned Yost…He’s the Milwaukee Brewer’s fired head coach who took a baseball team that nobody heard of to ‘almost’ getting into the playoffs with two weeks to spare. This team hasnt done anything since 1981 except spit out Bud Selig. the commissioner of baseball.

And finally, good ol’ Favre…He’s a gamer but I’m not sure if he knows what for. Maybe he’s a gamer for NYC. Hey, I’m a Jets fan this year but WTF!!! Packers only lost the NFC championship title to the Giants with Favre at the helm and they tossed him. I like Aaron Rodgers but I don’t think the Packers are better without him this year and will probably have an equally poor season as the Jets.

peace,

i’m sailing away…

PS What would you say and do to Miss. Match.com? She wants a response!!!!