Coming Clean

September 18, 2008

Yeah Ok, someone ratted me out.  At least they were telling truth.  I LOVE fat girls.

Please girls, if you are out there: don’t be afraid to finish that can of pringles or that bag of doritos.  Many of you must be wondering– why?  Why does this chubby boy from Wisconsin love chubby girls so much.   Well let me give you 10 reasons.

1. The more cushion the better the pushin.

2. I don’t care whats in your boobs (milk, doritos, pringles) as long as they are huge.

3. Being out eaten gives me a hard-on.

4. Eaten out well fed girls is better than eaten out starvin marvins.

5. I want to grab a big butt, not a little but.

6. Fat used to be in, like in the 1700′s.

7. As a Jew, nothing gets me off like challah rolls–or rolls in general.

8. Shnuggling is better.

9. Big Girls love protein shakes.

10. I am a big girl, just pre-op, and vain as hell.

There you have it.  Why I love Biiig girls.  So if you are 240+ don’t be shy.  I will snuggle you and treat your privates like royalty.  Just dial 1-800-fat-girls.  Peace and Carrots.


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4 Responses to “ Coming Clean ”

  1. revisingproust on September 19, 2008 at 12:47 am

    i am a big fan of the vivanno, which is sort of like a protein shake.

    today, the starbucks chick knew my drink – and gave me two extra shots free!!

    lucky. day.

    banana chocolate vivanno plus FOUR shots and whipped cream. extra chocolate if you want to be *super* annoying.

  2. revisingproust on September 19, 2008 at 12:50 am

    oh wait.

    my boobs?

    i can’t find them!

    let me get out my microscope!!

    ohhhhh, i see them now.

    (drat! looks like tough_love got all the boob-genes…)

  3. stereocache on September 20, 2008 at 4:49 am

    i want to be able to cut myself on a girls sharp hip bones poking through 0% fat.

  4. [...] But this is pretty old news, gal pals. You can be as plus-sized as you choose and still love the rolly-polly skin you’re in! Ask Tyra or Harrumph.  [...]

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