Coming Clean

Yeah Ok, somone ratted me out.  At least they were telling truth.  I LOVE fat girls.

Please girls, if you are out there: don’t be afraid to finish that can of pringles or that bag of doritos.  Many of you must be wondering– why?  Why does this chubby boy from Wisconsin love chubby girls so much.   Well let me give you 10 reasons.

1. The more cushion the better the pushin.

2. I don’t care whats in your boobs (milk, doritos, pringles) as long as they are huge.

3. Being out eaten gives me a hard-on.

4. Eaten out well fed girls is better than eaten out starvin marvins.

5. I want to grab a big butt, not a little but.

6. Fat used to be in, like in the 1700’s.

7. As a Jew, nothing gets me off like challah rolls–or rolls in general.

8. Shnuggling is better.

9. Big Girls love protein shakes.

10. I am a big girl, just pre-op, and vain as hell.

There you have it.  Why I love Biiig girls.  So if you are 240+ don’t be shy.  I will snuggle you and treat your privates like royalty.  Just dial 1-800-fat-girls.  Peace and Carrots.

Harrumph

Related posts:

  1. Coming of Age
  2. Brownstein Crashes The Superbowl
Word Index:

  • Share/Bookmark