the rut of half read books & half written letters

August 29, 2008

By revisingproust

some of you may know that my (self-imposed) goal for the year is to read 50 books.

You can see what i’ve read here. In addition to those books, I have about 7 other books that are half complete. I used to have an OCD manager who told me that I needed to work on my follow-through. It’s definitely true. I’m a starter, an inspirer, and to finish…well, that’s a lie. i finish strong…i’m a procrastinator who some how gets it done by the deadline. naturally, it’s just this damn middle part of the year – July & August – that’s killing me.

along with the books that are piled up next to my bed, in my living room, next to my desk, in my bathroom, etc. now stacks of half-written letters are in most of those places too.

even before i started contributing to this blog, i sat down with another contributor and brainstormed a list of 20 living writers who i wanted to reach out to. at the time, i realized that some writers would be off of that list, others may be “Eureka! moment” additions, or unfound goodies. nevertheless, i wanted to be prepared with a list. i didn’t want to have to think about who i wanted to write to. i wanted to use that time to, you know, write.

now i find myself writing half of a letter, rereading it, and thinking it’s crap. and not even good crap. good crap (as in, crap that i like but that other people still think is crap is a-OK). this isn’t even stuff that i am happy with.

soo much pressure – writing to these famous people! people who’ve touched me and changed me, made me think, and made me understand.

i only got 3 or so hours of sleep last night. i’m pretty tired and definitely rambling. i just don’t want you to think i’ve neglected you.

i will finish strong. (even if my next few letters are crap – remember to tell me to persevere!)