Let me shit on your chest.

August 19, 2008


Its not like I discriminiate on the basis of age, gender, or cognitive ability. If you have a chest, I want to shit all over it. No?

You’re still not getting it! Let me break it down:

1) I ask you to take off your shirt and lay down. I squat over you like a ballerina (mid plie), except my asshole is involved.
2) A quarter-pound of semi-solid feces steams out of my bung, onto the plane of skin that stretches from your collar bone to your xyphoid process.
3) (optional, but certainly ideal) I rub my hot doo-doo all over your nipples and ribs. Giggling ensues!

I’d like to offend you. But if your tolerance for blasphemy is higher than my propensity to write really icky things, than I at least hope to illicit a chuckle from you.

My name is Lonnie. I want to blow my nose into your vagina. Guten Tag!

TwitterFacebookDeliciousDiggGoogle ReaderGoogle GmailGoogle BookmarksFriendFeedLinkedInMySpaceStumbleUponYahoo MailPosterousTechnorati FavoritesAIMBlogger PostShare


Shop Fan Follow Contact Subscribe


3 Responses to “ Let me shit on your chest. ”

  1. tough_love on August 19, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    i’m loling.

  2. bucky_katz on August 19, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    bravo. amazing introduction. one of my favorites.

  3. revisingproust on August 20, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    picturing: lonnie mid-plie.

Leave a Reply