Ways for Payless to improve (destroy?) its image using genitalia.
So Payless ShoeSource isn’t trendy.
But there is no reason why paying pesos for my favorite kicks at the local PSS should send me spiraling downward into an oblivion of 90’s fashion disaster. Why do I spend all that time trimming my ball hair (props tough_love) when a girl won’t even look past my shoes before she calls the police, or worse, puts me in the “friend zone”?
I devised a short list of marketing tips for Payless in the “February 2003″ section of my tenth grade planner. They are as follows:
1) Place miniature neon labia in every pair of mock converse shoes purchased. Everyone knows that you’re a vagina if you don’t cough up the money to look hipster, and it would send those tools (hammers, wrenches, that thirty year old with the rat tail) a clear message.
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